


whims and inconsistencies

by gennified



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Modern pride and prejudice au, rating is for language only
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gennified/pseuds/gennified
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a failing high society New York family must be in search for a rich partner for their heir.According to Alex’s mother, at least.(a modern pride and prejudice au)
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 67
Kudos: 155





	1. prologue

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a failing high society New York family must be in search for a rich partner for their heir. 

According to Alex’s mother, at least. 

On the first morning of Alex’s last summer break before his final year at Columbia, his mother had already begun regaling him over breakfast with all of the latest gossip—who was married, who was _already divorced, can you believe it, Alex?_ , who was spending the summer in the city, and who was vacationing where. Considering she had done the same thing yesterday morning, and the morning before that, and the morning before _that_ , as Alex lived at home during the school year, Alex paid her no mind. Instead, he chose to catch up with Julie, whom he had seen little while she was away during her third year at Yale. 

A gasp from his mother drew both of their attention. “Oh, you’ll never believe this!” she said, as she clacked away a quick response on her phone to whatever text message had excited her. “The Covingtons are spending the summer in the city!” 

“Who are the Covingtons?” asked Julie, straightening up in her seat. 

“They invested in the tech industry early on, and moved out to San Francisco years ago. Before either of us were born,” Alex answered before his mother could jump in with her version of the story, which was very often not the real one. 

His mother beamed at him, and Alex felt a moment of shame for playing into her game of gossip. But Julie needed to know; after she had turned eighteen, she became fair game to his mother’s scheming, and Alex could already sense that something was brewing in her mind. It was best if she had all of the information and had it told to her the right way. 

“Well, there’s more to it than that,” started Alex’s mother. “But he did give you the bare bones of it. The Covingtons are actually descended from British nobility.” 

Alex rolled his eyes, which earned him a scowl from his mother. “The current Duke of Manchester lives in Orange County and spent time in prison in Vegas for writing bad checks. Nobel blood doesn’t mean a whole lot anymore.”

“Thank you for that, Alex,” replied his mother, sharply. 

“His name is also Alex, incidentally.”

“ _Thank you, Alex_ ,” she snapped.

“I still don’t understand why this is so exciting,” replied Julie. “Just because they are rich?”

“They’re old money, dear. Very old,” replied Mrs. Mercer, and while her voice was kind, Alex wished she wouldn’t say it. Julie’s family—the Molinas—were not old money, and along with the deeply entrenched racism inherent in New York high society, this meant that they had been continuously made to feel less than welcome. 

Though Alex’s parents prided themselves on their own status as “old money,” having made their fortune on real estate and timely investments in the railroad in the early nineteenth century, the Mercers had been good friends of the Molinas, who had made their own money while Julie was a baby when her father had patented several camera prototypes that allowed for extreme close-ups at unprecedented speeds. 

Julie’s mother had passed when she was young, but her father had died suddenly six years ago, and the Mercers had taken her in. Though she was well past eighteen now and entitled to her inheritance, she had chosen to stay with them through college—they were the closest she had to a family, after all.

Alex was glad for it, too. He didn’t know how he could stand his mother without Julie by his side to keep him calm. 

“Is it just Mr. Covington? I thought he didn’t have a wife or children,” Alex asked, in an attempt to move the conversation away from money. 

“Well.” His mother broke out into the sly smile she held whenever she prided herself on knowing something others did not. Alex regretted asking. “Mr. Covington never married, but his younger brother did. Unfortunately, he and his wife died in a car accident about ten years ago—I’m sure I’ve mentioned it—and so he took in their son. It is a pity they didn’t have a daughter. A Covington marrying into the Mercers! Can you imagine how great that would be?”

And there it was. He felt Julie stiffen beside him and reach out a hand for his under the table. 

“No, I can’t imagine that, mother,” he replied tersely. “Because I am not going to be marrying any girl, Covington or not.” 

Alex had come out to his parents five years ago now. But anyone looking in from the outside would be hard pressed to know that, as his parents were still trying to set him up with every high society woman on this side of the Mississippi River. And now, apparently, she was considering the West Coast families, too. 

Mr. Mercer had inherited a very large and healthy fortune, but, having lived his entire life with a silver spoon in his mouth, had very little sense for managing money. Between poor financial decisions, several bad investments, and an unfortunate case of fraud committed by a formerly close family friend, the Mercers had been in dire straits for several years now. And though his father was constantly trying to save the once great Mercer legacy through new business ventures, his mother had taken a more old-fashioned approach: Alex, their only son, needed to marry a rich girl who could bring her money into the family. 

The fact that he was gay was only a small hiccup in their plan. 

“The son might be a good match for you, Julie, dear,” said his mother, ignoring Alex’s comment as she often did. “The Covingtons are a very respectable family.” 

His mother gave her the same sickly sweet smile she always offered him when she was trying to match make. The Molina fortune would never be theirs—although his mother had once flouted the idea of him and Julie marrying, which had made both of them want to vomit—but his mother lived for match-making. 

“I think I just want to focus on my studies now,” Julie replied evenly, sending Alex a glance that screamed ‘help me.’

“Of course, you’re far too young to get married now. The gossip would be insidious.” His mother paused. “But why don’t I set something up for you two to meet him? He’ll be new in town. I’m sure he could use some friends.” 

Unfortunately, she was already on the phone before either Julie or Alex could lodge their protests.

* * *

Two days later found them waiting outside of a posh coffee house in Greenwich Village—Alex’s mother had been kind enough to at least let him pick the location of their meeting with their “new friend”—and neither of them were happy. 

Despite how much Mrs. Mercer acted as though she was only doing this as an act of kindness to the Covington boy, who they had recently learned was named William, it was clear she had high hopes for Julie. She had bought her a new dress and taken her to get her hair done yesterday. And while Julie was too polite to complain to his mother directly, Alex had been on the receiving end of multiple rants. 

“We just have to meet with him once and then tell her you're not interested,” he assured her. “And she can’t actually force you to do anything. You’re not a Mercer. All she can do is be really, really annoying.”

“She’s already doing that,” Julie muttered under her breath. “My question is: how much worse can she get?” 

“You’ve seen how she is with me,” Alex groaned. “Trying to set me up with every woman of marriageable age that she can find. But their money depends on it, in her mind. Yours doesn’t. I’m sure she won’t be as bad.” 

“She can’t force you, either, Alex.”

She was right, of course, but before Alex could get the chance to respond, he was knocked to the ground with such a force that he could seek sparks in the edge of his vision. His knee stung from where it made contact with the sidewalk as he tried to separate himself from whatever—or whoever, in this case—had decided to pancake him into the concrete. 

Julie reached down to pull him up. “Alex! Are you okay?”

“Shit, I am so sorry, are you alright?” started the offender. Alex grabbed onto Julie’s outstretched hand to pull himself up, shooting a glare at the young man who had apparently viewed him as a bowling pin. He seemed around Alex’s age, tan skin with long hair, and dressed in a tie-dye t-shirt and cut-off jean shorts. 

But it was Alex’s own trousers that caught his attention, his knee now fully on display through a ragged tear.

“Dude, these are Saint Laurent! Do you have any idea how much they cost?” 

The young man’s demeanor immediately shifted, a scowl forming on his features. “If you can afford one pair of Saint Laurent pants, then you can afford another.” 

Alex sharpened his glare. “You literally ran me over. Shouldn’t you be offering to replace them?”

“I’m feeling less and less inclined to the longer this conversation goes on, actually.” 

“Well, if you’re not going to help, then just leave us alone,” said Julie, putting a protective hand on Alex. “We’re waiting for someone.”

“Me too,” replied the young man, his face falling as the realization hit him. “Oh god, don’t tell me you guys are Alex and Julie?” 

Julie and Alex immediately shared a look. They’d known each other long enough that they could almost read the other’s minds, and they both knew they were planning excuses to get out of this little visit as soon as possible. 

“Willie! Dude, what the hell? Why did you just skate off?” From around the corner, another young man came running into view in a sleeveless band tank only slightly more fashionable than William—sorry, _Willie’s _-—tie-dye crop top.__

__Alex took the chance while Willie was offering some sort of explanation to his friend about running late to give him another look over. He wasn’t anything like Alex had expected from someone bearing the name “Covington.” His attitude aside, Alex could sense an ease and relaxed air that one didn’t find often in the high society of New York. Must be the West Coast influence, thought Alex._ _

__Normally, the less high society one appeared, the more Alex liked them. But unfortunately in Willie’s case, trying to scramble his brains onto the sidewalk negated any of the potential goodwill he might have held._ _

__“You’re Luke Patterson!” Julie gasped out next to him, bringing Alex back from his wandering thoughts._ _

__“Yeah.” He grinned. “Didn’t expect anyone to recognize me. That’s kinda cool. You must be Julie?”_ _

__She nodded, embarrassment at her outburst written across her face. “And this is Alex.”_ _

__Extending his hand, Alex offered a polite “Nice to meet you” to Luke and nothing to Willie._ _

__Willie rolled his eyes. “Luke’s been having a bit of writer’s block for his next album, so I suggested he stay with me in the city this summer.”_ _

__Luke Patterson was hardly what anyone would call a household name, but his first album had picked him up critical acclaim, and for Julie especially, who had a passion for songwriting and performing, it had come at a formative time in her life. Alex was a fan, too, although he’d only heard the songs—he’d had no clue what Luke had even looked like until now._ _

__“I thought it would be good to get him out and meet new people,” Willie continued. “Or is he not fancy enough for you, Saint Laurent?”_ _

__“Why don’t we all go inside and order?” Julie jumped in, her voice carrying far more politeness than was written across her face. “It’s starting to get crowded, so we don’t want to miss our chance at a table.”_ _

__“Nah.” Willie dropped his skateboard to the ground, putting his helmet back on. “Just remembered I’ve got other things to do then hang out with a bunch of New York snobs being flung at me by their mother.”_ _

__“Like run some more people over? You can’t do that here.” Alex gestured to the skateboard. “You’re gonna hurt someone.” He quickly added, “Else.”_ _

__“He’s kinda got a point, man,” replied Luke. “These sidewalks are packed. Someone could get hurt.”_ _

__“Then I’ll skate in the street,” huffed Willie. “Luke, I’ll see you back at the hotel.” And with that, he pushed off, leaving Luke to shout protests as he chased Willie as far as the next crosswalk._ _

__“Sorry about that,” Luke said when he returned empty-handed. “He’s usually not like that. You must have made a hell of an impression on him.”_ _

__It should be phrased the other way around, thought Alex. Willie was the one who had run _him_ over. How were people forgetting that? _ _

__“Who needs him anyway,” replied Julie. “Do you want to go inside? We’d still love to meet you.”_ _

__Luke worried at his lip, eyes flickering back to where Willie had disappeared. “I should probably go after him and see what’s up. But let’s try to meet up again sometime. I think we owe you guys a cup of coffee or two. See you around, Julie. Alex.”_ _

__He dashed down the street, his hair flopping to the beat of his Vans hitting the pavement. Julie and Alex watched as he left, speechless. For an afternoon that was to be spent over coffee, all either of them had to show for it was Alex’s skinned knee and torn pants._ _

__“At least Luke Patterson seems much more down-to-earth than I would have expected,” observed Julie. She turned to him. “What did you think about Willie, though?”_ _

__Alex stared down the street where Luke and Willie had rushed off, trying to ascertain his feelings._ _

__Naturally, it didn’t take long._ _

__“What an asshole.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so excited to finally start posting this!! this fic is very loosely inspired by pride and prejudice, but not everything lines up directly with the events/characters in the books. i won't spoil what changes i've made, but i hope that everything makes sense for the characters! and a massive, massive thank you to @evol_love for beta-reading.


	2. chapter one

“So he just, like, ran you over?” Reggie asked in between mouthfuls of ice cream. After the very strange encounter with Willie and Luke, Alex had dropped Julie off back at the Mercer’s brownstone and immediately set off to the apartment of his best friend. 

“He didn’t even apologize!” Alex replied, digging his own spoon into the ice cream carton. “Well, he started to, but after I snapped at him, it was like he turned into a different person.” 

“I’ve seen you snap, and it’s not the best first impression.” Reggie had been on the receiving end of Alex’s temper on a few occasions, but it was only when Alex’s anxiety was at its worst. Not that that excused it, but at least Reggie was more understanding because of it. 

In this case, though, Alex felt as though his snapping was perfectly justified. 

“The actual first impression was him _running me over_ , if you haven’t forgotten. Which everyone seems to have.”

“That’s fair,” Reggie acknowledged. “And those were your favorite pants.” 

“And then when he was leaving, he had to go and insult my mother,” whined Alex. “That she was just forcing us—well, I guess he meant Julie—on him for his money.” 

“But he was kind of right, wasn’t he? She was practically throwing Julie at him from the way she talked about it.” 

“He was right, but he shouldn’t have said it,” he replied with a pout. 

“He did introduce you to Luke Patterson, though. That’s pretty cool,” said Reggie. An aspiring singer-songwriter on his own, Reggie had been the first person to recommend _In Your Starlight_ , Luke’s first album, to Alex. He was probably a bigger fan than even Julie, which was saying something.

“Yeah, but we barely got to speak to him before he ran right after Willie. So I guess we can thank Willie for ruining our chances with him.”

“Like you had a chance with him to begin with,” laughed Reggie, dodging the pillow that Alex flung at him. He put the carton of ice cream down on the coffee table in case Alex decided to pelt him again. “So he’s Caleb Covington’s son? I thought he didn’t have any children.”

“Nope,” Alex said as he leaned back into the cushions. “Willie is his nephew. Caleb Covington is a confirmed bachelor.” The lilt in his voice when he said that didn’t go unnoticed by Reggie. 

“I think he’s a little too old for you, dude.”

Alex rolled his eyes, reaching across the coffee table for the ice cream carton again. “Not like that. But it’s always nice to see people like, you know, _me_ that were able to escape their parents’ heteronormativity.” 

“I’ve never understood this. You _could_ get married to a guy. It’s been legal for almost ten years,” pointed out Reggie.

“I can do whatever I want,” Alex replied. “I could marry that cute barista at the Starbucks on the corner right now.”

“So, what’s stopping you?” 

“Well, I don’t even know the guy’s last name for starters.” Alex scrunched up his face. “Or his first, come to think of it.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” teased Reggie. “You don’t have to listen to your parents. And I know from personal experience that you _don’t_ listen to them, like, ever.” 

“It’s just annoying more than anything. I don’t care if they disown me when—if—I ever meet someone I love enough to marry. I’m graduating in a year and I can support myself. But until then, I guess I have to put up with it for a little longer. My mom thinks the only way to save the family and her lifestyle is to marry a rich girl.” 

Marrying a rich guy would save their fortune, too, but those were fewer and farther between in New York high society, where his mother had hung her hopes. Reputation was everything to her, which is why she turned her nose up at celebrities and anyone that was ‘new money.’ And for as many fundraisers as his parents may have thrown for a few select LGBT charities to improve their own social standing and to appear open-minded, his parents didn’t approve of his sexuality for more than financial reasons, even if they didn’t say it out loud. 

“Your mom also thinks that Julie shouldn't have gone to college because she doesn’t need to work with the money she inherited,” Reggie replied. “Needless to say, your mom doesn’t have the best ideas.” He reached over and gave Alex a comforting pat on the knee. “Tell me more about meeting Luke Patterson. Think you can somehow wrangle an introduction for me?”

* * *

As it turned out, the Covingtons (and by hopeful association, Luke) would be attending a charity auction that Friday evening, or so Alex was informed by his father at dinner when he returned home that night. 

“Can we go?” asked Julie quickly. 

Her interest piqued, Alex’s mother leaned forward with a sly grin. “You got along well with William this afternoon, I take it?” 

Alex let out a laugh before he could stop himself. 

He didn’t want to expose Julie’s interest in Luke, because his mother had always found celebrities to be crass and tacky, but the idea of getting along with Willie was ludicrous. 

“I don’t think your mother was talking to you, Alex,” said his father, pointedly. He turned back to Julie. “How did the meeting go?” 

“Well….” she hesitated. There really was no way to tell this story in a way that wouldn’t beg for more questions. “It sort of didn’t happen.” 

“What do you mean, darling? He cancelled on you?” asked his mother. 

“Not exactly…” Julie trailed off again. She didn’t want to share the whole story. “But as soon as he arrived, he realized he had something else to be at so they left almost immediately.” 

Leave it to Julie to manage to say that as diplomatically as possible. 

“Who is ‘they’? You said ‘they’ left,” Mrs. Mercer pressed. She was leaning further across the table now in deep interest, her clothes nearly touching her food. Mr. Mercer pulled her back. 

“He brought a friend with him, visiting from California.” Alex stepped in to save Julie from his mother’s grilling. 

His mother’s face fell. “Oh, he’s already taken? That’s a pity. He would have been so suitable for you, Julie.” She paused. “But you did seem so eager to come to the auction on Friday when you heard he was coming.”

To be fair to his mother, there wasn’t actually any indication that Luke and Willie _weren’t_ dating, but he was certain that his mother assumed Willie had brought a girl with him. 

“His friend was a musician that I’m a big fan of,” said Alex. That was as true for him as it was for Julie, anyway, and it saved Julie a little from interrogations. “But we didn’t really get the chance to talk to him. It would be nice to see him again.”

“A musician?” His mother sat back, disappointed that her matchmaking with Willie wasn’t working out the way she had hoped. “You two can come, of course. We had planned to invite you anyway.” Probably to throw Julie at Willie again, but she left that part unsaid.

His father turned the subject to a business venture meeting he’d been at earlier that day that he hoped would be promising, so Alex took the chance to tune him out. He hated the charity events, all full of rich people trying to make themselves feel better rather than caring about whatever social cause they felt like championing that week. Worse, his mother used them to introduce him to any woman between the ages of twenty and fifty, despite the fact that she—and most often the women, too, as Alex was not in the closet and certainly not subtle—knew it would never happen. 

Still, though, he found himself looking forward to Friday. Most likely, it was at the chance to get to talk to Luke Patterson, again, and the fact that he already knew Reggie would be there, too, with his parents. 

Hopefully Willie being there as well wouldn’t put a damper on the whole evening.

* * *

Everyone was dressed in their best, which was probably half the reason any of these high society snobs turned out to any of these events. Certainly it wasn’t out of the goodness of their own hearts, Alex thought bitterly. His own parents and their willingness to donate to gay rights charities while ignoring their own son’s sexuality was proof enough of that. 

“There he is!” Julie whispered to him from their corner table. Alex and Reggie turned their attention to the door, where Luke, Willie and an excitable older-looking man, dressed contrastingly in a purple velvet suit so unlike any of the other men’s plain black suits, were making their grand entrance. 

“I’m going to guess that’s our confirmed bachelor, Mr. Covington?” Reggie said to him. 

Alex nodded, but his attention was fixed on Willie, who had cleaned up much more nicely than Alex could have imagined. His long hair pulled back in a low bun, and a dinner jacket over a stylish black and white shirt, he looked almost like a completely different person to the Willie that had bowled him over just a few days ago.

But a new look wouldn’t change his arrogant personality.

He had promised Reggie that he would get to meet Luke, but he wasn’t sure if he could deal with interacting with Willie long enough to do it. He turned to Julie instead. “You should introduce Reggie to Luke,” he suggested.

There was a loud clatter as Julie dropped her fork. “What? I barely know the guy as it is! I can’t just go up to him.” 

“Why not? You’ve already been introduced. I never actually paid attention in etiquette class, but I’ve seen enough Regency films to know that means you could talk to him, like, 200 years ago. I’m sure it's fine now, too.” 

Julie shot a glance over to where Luke was standing, chatting with Willie. Mr. Covington seemed to be making the social rounds, and was currently speaking to Reggie’s father. Luke seemed to be stealing glances at their table, and Julie quickly averted her eyes to avoid being caught. “No way. Go introduce him yourself.” 

“But Willie’s there,” whined Alex. 

“All the more reason for me to not go over there. To avoid being seen by your mom.”

“Fine.” 

Grabbing Reggie’s hand, he dragged him over to Luke and Willie. “Hey guys,” he started, pointedly only looking in Luke’s direction. “Sorry about the failed coffee meeting the other day.” 

“No way, man, that’s totally on us,” Luke replied. He bounced on his toes as he spoke. “We should make it up to you and Julie sometime.”

“Sure, anytime,” replied Alex half-heartedly, as he gave Reggie’s hand a tug to pull him closer. “In the meantime, I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Reggie Peters.” 

Reggie and Luke seemed to immediately hit it off, especially after Reggie told him that he was a musician, too. Within minutes, they had disappeared to some quieter corner of the room so that Reggie could play clips from his demo for Luke. 

“How’s your knee, Saint Laurent?” 

Alex bit back a groan. This was exactly what he’d been hoping to avoid. “Fine. Run any more people over?”

“I _am_ sorry about that, you know. I’m not sorry you ripped your already artistically torn bougie pants, but I am sorry for hitting you.”

“At least that’s something,” Alex grumbled in reply. “Though for someone complaining about the bourgeois, you clean up pretty well.”

Willie raised an eyebrow. Shit. Alex didn’t mean for that to come out like a compliment. 

“Caleb made me come. I would have skipped. I hate these things.”

“Me too.” Alex looked over to where Luke was dragging Reggie over towards Caleb, a massive grin on his face. “Wonder what that’s about.”

Willie shrugged. “Luke gets excited about the color blue. It could honestly be anything.”

Alex let out a laugh against his will. “Reggie’s the same way. I’m glad they’re getting on, though.” But now he felt bad for Julie, who was seated alone at the table. 

Willie followed his line of sight. “She didn’t want to talk to us?” 

“Oh no, she’s waiting for her friend Flynn.” It was only half of a lie. Flynn was supposed to be there that night and hadn’t arrived yet. And Willie was the last person that needed to know it was because she was too nervous to talk to Luke Patterson. 

Willie let out a ‘hm’ but didn’t push. They lapsed into an awkward silence, both glancing around the room to find any other place to look at than each other, and Alex wondered what the most polite way to get out of this conversation would be. 

Wait, polite? There was no need to be polite to Willie of all people. 

But before he could escape, Willie started speaking again. “Well, it looks like she’s got some company.”

Luke and Reggie, this time sans Willie’s uncle, were making their way over to Julie’s table, and Julie’s face broadcast that she was heavily considering hiding under the table to avoid them. At least it gave Alex the excuse he needed to get away. “Maybe I should go over there.”

Willie opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, probably some quip or another, but opted against it, just shrugging instead. “Suit yourself.” He turned and disappeared into the crowd near the stage. The auctioning was about to begin, it seemed.

Alex quickly made his way back to his now almost full table and took his seat, watching Luke reintroduce himself to Julie as if she had somehow forgotten him. At some point, Flynn had arrived, and though Alex would have expected her to immediately draw Julie’s attention, instead she was sat off to the side with Reggie while Luke and Julie were pulled into a deep conversation. 

“What fun new nicknames did Willie come up with to insult you this time?” Reggie asked him as they watched the scene in front of them unfold. 

“He called me bougie, but I’m not sure if that counts since it’s kind of true.” Alex paused. “He was actually nicer this time. Sort of.” 

“If a Mercer is bourgeoisie, what the hell does that make a Covington?” asked Flynn. “What a hypocrite. We should egg his house.” 

“I think they are staying in a hotel, but that’s the right attitude,” Alex laughed. Across the table, Luke’s eyes hadn’t left Julie since he had sat down. 

“What were you talking about with Mr. Covington?” he turned to ask Reggie. 

“Oh, dude, it was actually really cool. Luke really liked the sample of my demo, and he wanted me to play it for Caleb.” 

“I thought the Covingtons were mostly in tech. Why would he care about your demo?” Flynn replied. 

“Mostly, but apparently Caleb really wants to get into the entertainment industry, so he has a lot of contacts. He knows a lot of managers and talent agencies, or so he says. He gave me his email to send him my full demo.”

“No way, that’s great, man!” replied Alex. Signing with a record label had been Reggie’s dream for as long as he had known him. 

“Well, nothing’s happened yet,” Reggie said, trying not to get his hopes up. “I know Willie is an ass, but his uncle is actually pretty cool.” 

“Willie’s not that much of a jerk, really.” It was Luke, who had finally stopped paying attention to Julie long enough to realize there were other people at the table. “You guys just got off on the wrong foot. He’s always been a really good friend.”

“Whatever.” Alex knocked back the last of his drink. “Luke, did Julie tell you about the song-writing award she won last semester?”

That changed the subject quickly enough, as Luke launched into a stream of questions about what kind of music she wrote. 

Once the auction started, it was difficult to have much of a conversation, although that didn’t stop Luke and Julie from huddling their heads closer together to be able to hear each other. It was adorable, but Alex kept shooting glances at his parents to make sure they weren’t taking too keen of an interest. 

About halfway through the auction process, Reggie smacked Alex on the arm, and Alex followed Reggie’s attention to where Willie was watching them from his seat next to his uncle. As soon as he was caught, he turned away. 

Alex frowned. Weird. 

The rest of the night, Alex found himself glancing back over to Willie’s table to see if Willie was watching them again. He never was, and Alex was half-convinced he had imagined it. The most reasonable explanation that Alex could come up with was that he resented them for stealing Luke away from him. If Alex had been in his position and forced to sit with just his parents at one of these god-awful events because his friend had ditched him to hang out with someone new, he’d be pissed, too. But what was stopping Willie from just coming over and sitting with them himself?

Ah, right, Alex realized. It wasn’t a _what_ was stopping him, but a _who_ : Alex himself. Willie would rather suffer with his uncle than sit at a table while Alex was there.

Well, thought Alex. The feeling was mutual.

* * *

When the Mercers and Julie arrived at their home it was quite late, but that didn’t stop Julie from sneaking into Alex’s room as soon as his parents were in bed. Of course, they were both adults now and could stay up as late as they wanted, but the thrill of it still felt the same as it did when they were younger. 

“He wants me to send him some of my lyrics,” she whispered to him with a pillow pulled tight to his chest. 

“And you were afraid to even talk to him,” Alex teased, but he was happy for her. While she took as many music classes as she could fit into her schedule, and she wrote enough as a hobby, she had stopped short of really pushing herself towards the career in music that Alex knew she genuinely wanted. Luke’s album, whether he knew it or not, had helped her to start writing again. Maybe his encouragement could help her to start performing again, too. 

From behind a smile, she quietly admitted, “He gave me his phone number. To make plans for that coffee he owes us.” 

“Owes you coffee, maybe. Willie owes me an entire pair of pants.” Alex set back in his bed, the look on Willie’s face when Alex and Reggie had found him staring still stuck in his head. Initially, Alex had thought his was a face of hatred. But the more he thought about it, the more he replayed it in his head, the more Alex felt there was something different there. Interest, perhaps? Intrigue might be the better word for it. But there was something softer there, too. Alex couldn’t place it, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to waste the energy trying. 

“Is that what you two talked about? I saw you while Luke and Reggie were together.”

“No, that was… I don’t know, just small talk. He asked how my knee was.” 

“That was… actually nice of him.”

Alex shrugged. “We talked a bit about how stupid the charity auctions are. That was it, really.”

“Maybe Luke was right and we just got a bad first impression of him. He seems alright, all things considered. I mean, anyone that hates going to those things as much as we do has to be kind of cool, right?”

“I thought you were on my side,” Alex groaned. Julie had a point, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. If they had met under different circumstances, Alex could see Willie fitting in easily with their group of friends. They all hated the pomp and circumstance that their parents seemed to revel in so much. If anything, Willie’s reaction to Alex’s Saint Laurent comment seemed to suggest that he was even further removed from it all than Alex himself was. 

The realization of that stuck in Alex’s chest. 

Maybe he was just as stuck up as the people he claimed to hate.

“I’m always on your side, Alex,” she replied gently, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I’m just saying that he apologized and he does seem like a cool guy. Maybe we can try to reschedule that coffee meeting.”

“You just want to see Luke again.” He tried to change the subject away from Willie.

“Don’t start, Mr. Mercer.” Alex pulled a face at her; he _hated_ being called that. “I’m just saying that you never know. Maybe we could all become friends.”


	3. chapter two

It was difficult to weasel the information out of Julie, but one night, about a week later, when they were cuddled on the couch together watching bad reality television, she confessed to Alex that she and Luke had been texting with increased frequency, and not just about her song lyrics. However, no matter how much Alex pushed her she refused to set up any meeting with him. He had, she pointed out, been the one to dip out on them, and so he should be the one to reach out about getting together again. 

“Getting together as in, just the two of you?” he said with a nudge. “You want him to ask you out on date?” 

“God, you sound just like Flynn. _No_ , I just…really enjoy talking to him. And he’s helping me with my lyrics. He’s got a lot of good ideas,” she replied. Alex couldn’t remember the last time that he had seen her so flustered. “He said that he wants to hear me sing sometime. One of my songs is meant to be a duet, so…” 

“You’ve never asked me to sing any of your songs with you.” There wasn’t a hint of jealousy in his voice. Anyone that could get Julie to sing again had Alex’s approval. 

She was silent for a moment. “I haven’t felt much like singing in a long time.” 

“Then I think,” started Alex as he got up from the couch, “that you should go ahead and ask him to hang out. Maybe he’s just waiting for you to make the move.” 

Despite that, however, several more weeks passed, and though Alex had seen her continuously texting back and forth with Luke—he swore he even heard them on the phone together once—nothing had come of it so far. 

He was bored in his room and considering whether he should call up Reggie for a movie night when his phone buzzed. A surge of fondness hit him. So often he would be thinking about calling Reggie and suddenly Reggie would be the one to call him. 

His face fell as he actually read the message. 

_bonjour, is this saint laurent?_ it read. Alex groaned. Who the hell did Willie get his number from? 

_no, this is versace,_ he replied. _how’d you get my number?_

_in that case, from donatella_. 

Alex saved the contact in his phone as the skull emoji. _no, seriously._

_from luke._ Before Alex could ask where Luke got it from, there was another buzz. _he either got it from julie or reggie, i’m not really sure and i don’t really care :D_

_can i help you with something? _Alex hadn’t had to talk to or even think about Willie since the auction. And though Alex’s anxiety had already caused him to dwell a little too much on why Willie had been staring at him in the weeks since then, the fact that Willie was actually _texting_ him gave him something else to be anxious about.__

___luke’s been hounding me about us all trying that coffee thing one more time, sans skateboard accident._ _ _

__If Luke was waiting for Willie to try to reschedule, that might explain why it was taking so long to make any plans with Julie. _well. only if it's because of luke.__ _

___perfect. friday, same time, same place. and wear some cheaper pants this time_ _ _

* * *

__As Alex had predicted, Julie was thrilled, especially when he told her that the only reason Willie had reached out to him was because Luke asked him to. Of course, she wouldn’t admit to that, but Alex knew her smiles well enough that he could read it on her face in an instant._ _

__He had wondered, even, if it was possible that he could get out of the whole thing and just leave it to Julie and Luke, but he remembered that Willie would still be there, which could just make things more awkward for Julie._ _

__But then, Willie being there also made things awkward for Alex. That was a sacrifice he was going to have to be willing to make for Julie’s happiness, though._ _

__He was anxious leading up to the day, his mind often ending up in a spiral of imagining whatever Willie might say to make fun of him, or whatever strange thing Alex might say that Willie would somehow take offense to. Between their conversation at the auction, however short, and the few texts Willie had sent to him about getting together for coffee, the animosity between them seemed to have diminished, if only slightly. But no matter how resolutely Alex tried to tell himself he didn’t care, he couldn’t seem to keep his mind off Willie._ _

__In the end, none of the fake scenarios he had imagined in his head came to pass._ _

__They met for coffee, this time without any skateboarding accidents. Luke and Julie led most of the conversation. In fact, Willie spoke little at all. Maybe Luke had asked him to keep quiet. It was probably for the best. Given the heart eyes that Luke kept sending Julie’s way from across the table, it was clear he was doing his best to make a good impression on her._ _

__Luke really was an interesting guy, Alex had to admit. His music, and especially his lyrics, reached depths in Alex’s soul that he didn’t know were there sometimes, and had served as a motivation during some rough moments in a bad break-up a few years ago. But Luke in person wasn’t the thoughtful, eloquent artist that his songs made him out to be._ _

__If anything, he was a bit of a disaster. A very charming, funny, and sweet disaster. But he tripped and stumbled over his words, especially when he was answering one of Julie’s many questions about his song writing. Sometimes he even tripped literally, like when Julie looked up at him when he was bringing their coffee orders over to the table. It was endearingly awkward._ _

__For her part, Julie was more reserved. She wasn’t shy, necessarily, and she was perfectly talkative, with plenty of questions. The problem was primarily that Luke’s music was all she would ask about, despite Luke’s attempts to shift the conversation to school, or friends, or even more generally life in New York._ _

__“I’m having a lot of trouble finding the right headspace to write for my next album,” he told them. “So I'm thinking of getting an apartment here for a change of scenery. What neighborhood do you live in? Would you recommend it?”_ _

__“So going somewhere different helps you write better? Why do you think that is?” Julie asked eagerly._ _

__Alex knew her well enough to know that talking about the things she knew Luke loved, like his music, was her way of showing her feelings, but it wasn’t entirely clear that Luke understood that._ _

__He would have to talk to her about it before Luke decided that she was wholly uninterested._ _

__They parted with only vague plans to meet up again at some unspecified point to try out an Armenian bakery that Alex had recommended. As they separated, Luke reached out to Julie for a handshake, something strangely formal for such an informal meet up, like it was some kind of business meeting. With the way that Julie had been questioning him about his method, maybe it had felt like that to him. He seemed embarrassed for himself once he realized what he was doing, his cheeks tinged pink, but Julie took his hand with a smile._ _

__Most likely to try to save himself, he reached a hand for Alex, too, and then shot Willie a desperate look for help. Willie rolled his eyes, but offered out his hand just the same, first to Julie, and then to Alex._ _

__And maybe, maybe it was Alex’s imagination, but Willie’s hand lingered just a moment longer in his than it did in Julie, and as he pulled away, Alex swore he felt Willie’s thumb gently swipe across the back of his hand._ _

__Alex’s eyes shot up to Willie’s. As soon as they met, Willie turned away._ _

__It was probably the most they had interacted the entire afternoon, but it was all that Alex could think about when he got home._ _

* * *

__In less than a week, Luke had texted Julie to invite her out, not for baklava as the group had casually thrown out during their coffee meet-up, but to go to the opening of a new temporary Degas exhibit at the MoMA that Saturday._ _

__And he had _only_ texted Julie. _ _

__“It’s not a date,” she had insisted when Alex had tried to convince her that inviting Flynn along wasn’t a good idea. For his trouble, Julie decided that actually, inviting Flynn wasn’t enough, and Alex needed to come, too. “Because it’s not a date.” Then for good measure, she added, “and maybe he’ll bring Willie.”_ _

__Alex had stuck his tongue out at her at the time. But after they had arrived together at the MoMA, to find that, sure enough, Luke was alone and dressed to the nines, disappointment set deep in his eyes even as he greeted them all with a happy smile. Alex really had wished Willie was there, too. Then maybe he would feel less like he was crashing a very one-sided date._ _

__Without putting too much thought into it, he pulled out his phone._ _

___help_ , he texted to Willie. _ _

___she brought you along to the moma with her, didn’t she_ , came Willie’s instantaneous reply. _ _

___and flynn, at least, so it’s a little less awkward than being a true third wheel, but yep_ _ _

__This time it took a minute or two for Willie to respond. _i’m not that far at all, give me a sec.__ _

__As soon as Willie responded, Alex was left wondering what the hell he had been thinking. Sure, it would be way less awkward for Luke if he had a friend on his side, but why Willie? He could have tried inviting Reggie; he knew that Luke and Reggie had been hanging out since the night of the auction. They’d been hanging out a _lot_ , actually, if Reggie’s Instagram was anything to go by. _ _

__He was trying not to feel too jealous about that. He wasn’t, really._ _

__So why didn’t he think to text Reggie first?_ _

__He tried to push that line of questioning out of his mind and instead focus on the exhibit._ _

__In front of him, the painting of a young girl called out, and he paused to let the earth tones wash over him. The movement of the young ballerina, evident in the broad, loose strokes, reminded Alex of a simpler time in his life, one where he wasn’t trying to balance his joy with trying to keep his entire family afloat. One before his parents had made him quit dance and tried to commandeer every aspect of his life._ _

__“Boo.”_ _

__The sudden sound in his ear nearly knocked him over as his soul tried to jump out of his skin. A familiar hand reached out to steady him._ _

__Of course it was Willie._ _

__“Why are you so surprised to see me? You’re literally the person that invited me,” he said with a grin._ _

__“I didn’t, actually, you just invited yourself.”_ _

__“Oh, yeah? What was that ‘help’ supposed to mean?”_ _

__Alex shrugged. “Send a taxi to rescue me and Flynn, maybe?”_ _

__“You can get your own taxi. Just admit you wanted me here.” Willie realized he had gone too far in an instant, and he immediately moved to change the subject. “Speaking of Flynn, where are the others?”_ _

__Having been lost in thought at the painting for far too long, he had completely misplaced his friends somewhere in the crowd. Looking around helplessly, he answered after a moment, “Umm…well, they’re somewhere, that’s for sure.”_ _

__“Glad you’re so confident in that. Alright, let’s just wander. This is only a four room exhibit. They can’t have gone too far.”_ _

__Alex had assumed that Willie meant to find them straight away, but he really did seem to mean “wander.” His pace was slow and leisurely and before they were even out of the first room, he was stopping to look at a collection of sketches on the wall._ _

__“Do you think any of these great artists ever intended to have their sketches displayed? Their unfinished thoughts.” Willie didn’t look at him as he spoke._ _

__Pausing, Alex watched as Willie took another step closer to the display to examine it even closer, as if he wanted to see every pencil stroke on the paper._ _

__“I think about that sometimes when they publish the letters of historical figures,” he said eventually. “Like, did they really want people two hundred years in the future to be reading their private conversations?”_ _

__“Not to mention some of it is just straight-up outing the person. Not that all historians see it that way. ‘Close friends and roommates’ who ‘never married,’” Willie said with added air quotes._ _

__“Sounds like my parents talking about me. Only difference is I’m still alive to tell them they are wrong.”_ _

__Willie turned back to him, studying Alex for a moment. His eyes were kind but sad as he spoke. “I’m sorry that they are putting you through that.”_ _

__“It’s been five years. I’m used to it at this point.” Alex shrugged._ _

__They were moving again, into the next room, meant to showcase the 1870s, with neither Luke or Julie or Flynn in sight. Willie wasn’t ready to move on from the conversation, though. “If you’re out to them, why does your mother keep trying to throw you at any woman within a 500 mile radius?”_ _

__When Alex explained the situation to Willie, he responded, “That’s some straight Downton Abbey shit.”_ _

__Alex laughed. “I guess when you put it like that.”_ _

__“So, is the failing family fortune why you’re majoring in Business at Columbia instead of something you actually like?” asked Wilie._ _

__Alex stopped in his tracks. “How did you know about that?”_ _

__“Reggie.”_ _

__“Of course.” Alex didn’t know when Willie and Reggie had been talking, but he wasn’t about to give that away. Reggie must have somehow become friends with Willie through Luke. “Going into business was my own decision. My dad’s really bad at it. I thought maybe if I could prove I know how to manage money, she’d give up on the ‘marry a rich girl’ campaign. Hasn’t happened yet."_ _

__Willie nodded. “At least you have some sort of career path. Caleb is always on my back to just focus on something.”_ _

__“What do you mean?” Alex asked. The truth was, he’d never spent much time thinking about Willie’s home life. He was well beyond rich and the Covingtons were getting richer every day. What could he even have to worry about?_ _

__“I have no clue what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I want to be a pro skateboarder, sometimes I want to get into photography…I’m a really good painter, too. Actually,” his voice got a little small as he admitted, “I was the one that suggested this place to Luke. Degas’ ability to capture youthful movement in unparalleled.”_ _

__“Really?” That wasn’t what Alex had expected. Not about Degas, because that was true, but about Caleb pushing him. “But you have plenty of time to decide.”_ _

__“He doesn’t think so,” Willie replied with a sigh. He was carefully observing a bronze statue as he spoke. “But I guess I can’t complain. At least when I came out to Caleb, he just responded with ‘yeah, me too.’” Alex tried to hide a smile by focusing very hard on the painting in front of him at the confirmation. Whatever he felt about Willie, it always made him happy to meet someone else like him._ _

__“It’s not a competition,” Alex replied. “We can both have shitty parents.”_ _

__“Love that for us.” Willie laughed, bright and happy in a deep contrast to the seriousness of the other museum goers around them. Something deep in Alex’s gut twisted at it, but he couldn’t place why. He’d had such a bad impression of Willie to start with that the sense of anxiety of having to deal with Willie again had overshadowed that Willie really was a nice, laid back guy. “Oh, is that _L’Absinthe_?” _ _

__Alex really wanted to go see it, too, but there was a more pressing issue at hand. “If we don’t hurry up, we’re going to completely lose the others. I thought you came to make things less awkward for Luke.”_ _

__“Relax, dude, we’ll find them.”_ _

__“Yeah, maybe at the exit.”_ _

__“It’s _fine_ ,” he said, as they continued to follow the wall of paintings in the museum. He dropped his voice as he spoke up again, “Or is it about rescuing Julie from Luke? She must not like him very much if she brought her friends along.” _ _

__“That’s not it at all,” Alex snapped as quietly as he could to not draw any attention to them. It was a fair observation but it was so clearly the wrong one. “She misunderstood. I just don’t want her to worry that I got lost somewhere.”_ _

__Willie was watching him carefully now, especially after his outburst, no attention paid to any of the beautiful art around them. “You’re wired a little tight, aren’t you?”_ _

__“Thanks, it’s the anxiety.”_ _

__Willie nodded in understanding. “Team Prozac?” He offered his hand for a fist bump of solidarity._ _

__“Sorry to disappoint, I’m Team Zoloft.”_ _

__“Guess we’re just sworn enemies at this point.”_ _

__“Guess so.” Alex flicked his eyes up to catch Willie’s, but immediately his cheeks began to burn and he turned away. He cleared his throat, and started to walk towards the next room. “We are seriously going to lose them, though, so we really should hurry up.”_ _

__“I’ve got an idea,” said Willie as he reached out to stop Alex in his tracks. “It might also help you loosen up a bit.”_ _

__Willie was grinning broadly. Alex started to get a little scared._ _

__“What’s that?”_ _

__“Have you ever just wanted to yell really, really loudly for no reason?”_ _

__“I’m constantly doing that in my head at all times,” replied Alex. Then he stopped. “Wait, do you mean, like, actually yell? Right now?”_ _

__“Why not? It’ll make us easier to find.”_ _

__Alex stared at him. “What goes on inside that head of yours?”_ _

__“Whims and inconsistencies, mostly,” he replied with a grin. “Come on. Yell with me.”_ _

__“Dude, you can’t be serious. We’re in the middle of the MoMA.”_ _

__“Just let it all out. Come on, watch me.” Willie took a deep breath, threw his head back, and let out an almost primal roar, drawing the eyes of the entire room—and then some._ _

__“You’re going to get us in trouble.”_ _

__Willie just gave him a pointed stare._ _

__Alex let out a tiny yelp, half to please Willie and half because of the two security guards that were heading their way._ _

__“Not good enough,” said Willie. “We’re going to get kicked out anyway at this point. Might as well go out with a bang.”_ _

__“Shut up!” Alex shouted at him. He stopped. It actually did feel kind of good._ _

__Willie’s grin widened. “Keep going.”_ _

__The guards were drawing closer. Willie was right. There was no stopping the inevitable now. And if they were lucky enough, they might even end up in _Page Six_ , which would absolutely piss his parents off. _ _

__Might as well, thought Alex._ _

__His eyes met Willie’s and he gave a nod. Taking in a sharp inhale, he let out a yell that turned into a laugh half-way through. Giving him an encouraging pat on the chest, Willie joined in, until the security guards pulled them apart and out of the museum._ _

__They couldn’t stop laughing about it once they were outside. It was definitely the most rebellious thing Alex had done since he was little and stole a pair of gloves from Nordstrom, but at least this time, his mother wasn’t there to march him back in and make him apologize to the manager._ _

__As Willie had thought, the scream session _did_ alert Luke, Julie and Flynn to their location—though out of embarrassment, they seemed to have waited until after the security team had left to actually meet up with them. Julie and Flynn’s faces were pure, unadulterated judgement, but Luke seemed as carefree and content as ever. _ _

__Luke gave Willie a high five as soon as he saw him. “I’d knew that yell from anywhere. What are you doing here, man?”_ _

__“Thanks for ditching me with them,” Flynn hissed under her breath as she came up beside Alex. Third wheeling was never fun, but probably even worse when there was supposed to be a fourth wheel, too. “What the hell is Willie doing here?”_ _

__“He came to help,” Alex whispered, although it came out sounding more unsure than he had intended. He wasn’t really sure why Willie had come at all._ _

__Julie was shooting him questioning glances, but she remained anchored at Luke’s side. They’d be speaking about this at home, Alex was sure._ _

* * *

__That evening Reggie texted Alex to say that everything was fine and there was no need to panic, but could Alex come over as soon as possible?_ _

__Alex hailed a cab within a minute and was at Reggie’s within ten._ _

__“I told you that you didn’t need to panic,” Reggie said as soon as he opened the door._ _

__“With you, I usually do.” Alex was restless as Reggie led into his bedroom and sat him down on his bed, reassuring him all the while that what he had to say might be surprising, but at least it wasn’t bad._ _

__“I’m moving.” Reggie rushed out his words in a single breath, so fast that Alex wasn’t even sure he had heard him correctly._ _

__“To… Brooklyn? Queens?” Alex filled in. “... New Jersey?”_ _

__“God no,” Reggie replied with a laugh. “To L.A.”_ _

__Alex felt like he’d had the wind kicked out of him. “I think that’s worse than Jersey.”_ _

__“Please don’t say it like that.” Reggie’s voice was soft and watery. “I want you to be happy for me.”_ _

__Alex nodded numbly. “Okay. Happy. Give me a second.” He took a deep breath and put on a smile. “So, why are you moving to L.A.?”_ _

__“Caleb is hooking me up with a recording contract at some record label that he has connections with.”_ _

__Alex’s eyebrows shot up past his bangs. “You signed a recording contract?”_ _

__“Well, I haven’t signed with them yet. They just wanted to fly me out there to meet with them first. But Caleb said it’s basically a sure thing, and Luke gave me a ton of recommendations for an apartment so…” Reggie shrugged. “I figured why not. I’ve been wanting to get away for awhile, you know that.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Alex agreed. His mind was still reeling. Reggie had been his best friend since they were children, and the idea of losing him was terrifying. Already spinning in Alex’s mind were scenarios of the new, cooler friends that Reggie would replace him with. But knowing Reggie since he was a child also meant knowing that getting signed to a record label and being able to put out his own music was Reggie’s lifelong dream. “I’m really happy for you, Reg. I mean it.”_ _

__Reggie reached out for him, placing a soft hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Come visit me there. It’s an excuse to get away from your parents. And you can bring Julie! It’ll be fun.”_ _

__Alex was sure a trip to L.A. would be fun, but he couldn’t stomach the idea of leaving his best friend there when he got on the plane back to New York. Reggie had been by Alex’s side through every hardship he’d had, from the time they got food poisoning together in high school to the worst break-up of Alex’s life. He couldn’t imagine a New York without Reggie, and now he was going to have to live in it. He had Julie, of course, but she also had Flynn and now Luke. Alex wished that he had someone, too._ _


	4. chapter three

Reggie left. 

It only took him a week to pack up his things, and then he was gone to an apartment in L.A. and a new life of meeting with record execs and public relations companies and whatever else it was that celebrities did out there. 

He was never too busy to call or text Alex, but the idea that Alex was keeping him from his new important life made him too anxious to respond immediately most of the time, and their conversations suffered for it. 

He still had Julie, of course, who was a godsend to Alex’s lonely soul, but she was spending more and more time with Luke recently, and Alex could never bring himself to bother her when he was feeling low. He didn’t want to drag her down, not when she was doing so well these days. Alex had heard her singing more and more recently. 

His phone buzzed. It was probably Reggie, wanting to talk about the cool new manager he had interviewed with today or just sending him a picture of whatever cute, anime character-shaped macron he bought today. L.A. seemed to be crawling with those things, much to Reggie’s joy. 

He ignored it, but after a few more minutes, it buzzed again. Alex rolled over in his bed from his second nap of the day to grab it and nearly dropped it when he saw the sender. 

Willie. 

Despite their museum screaming bonding session, he hadn’t spoken to Willie since they had separated that day, over two weeks ago now. Not that Alex cared, really, but he had thought that with Julie and Luke’s blooming relationship they might get the chance to see each other again. But then Willie never reached out, and Alex kept telling himself that maybe he would message him only to lose track of time in his new monotonous post-Reggie life. 

_up to anything tomorrow?_ read the text. 

Alex was pretty sure that Julie and Luke had already made plans for Luke to come over to work on a song, so he was probably just going to hide in his bedroom so that he didn’t get in their way. Willie didn’t need to know that, however. 

_hello to you, too. probably busy. why?_

_well if i remember correctly, i owe you a new pair of pants, so i thought we could go on a little shopping trip. but if you’re busy…_

Alex stared at his phone, unsure of how to respond. Sure, it was Willie’s fault that his favorite pair of pants were destroyed, but Willie had also spent the last month or so teasing Alex mercilessly for his outburst. And Alex was still really embarrassed about it. Whenever he played their meeting over in his head, which he did far too often to be considered healthy, the one thing he wished he could change the most was his outburst about how expensive his damn pants were. 

So, Alex decided as he read over Wilie’s text for the twentieth time, this must be some kind of trick to get another stuck up reaction from him that Willie could make fun of. Maybe things weren’t better between them after all. That could explain why Willie hadn’t texted him at all these last few weeks. 

_you know you don’t actually owe me anything, right?_ he typed, then erased, then typed out again. _if anything, you just made them even more unique. not everyone has jeans personally torn by william covington._

A minute went by, and then another one, with no response. Alex read over his words again, wondering what he had said wrong.

_so… does that mean you are busy or not? _came a response that Alex didn’t expect.__

__He chewed on his thumb as he typed a one-handed response. _i’m not busy.__ _

___cool. well i’d like to buy you something to make up for running you over even if it’s not saint laurent._ _ _

___honestly it’s fine, dude,_ replied Alex. _i’m over it.__ _

___alex._ There was another long pause of several minutes. Alex watched the three dots of typing appear and disappear and reappear multiple times. Willie must have been struggling with what to say next. _how about we grab a coffee together instead?_ _ _

__Oh._ _

* * *

__“He’s definitely asking you out—”_ _

__“He’s definitely _not_.”_ _

__“I just can’t understand _why_ ,” Julie told him. “I thought you two hated each other.”_ _

__“Hate is a very strong word,” Alex replied evenly. “Let’s call it mutual distaste.”_ _

__“Maybe mutual acquired taste,” observed Julie._ _

__“That’s not… okay. Maybe. I don’t know. We just got off on the wrong foot.”_ _

__Truth be told, Alex had no idea how he felt about Willie anymore. What had started out as a desire to never see or speak to Willie ever again had morphed into respect for each other’s struggles in a system that their parents had stacked against them. But that day at the MoMA had been the most they had spent willingly speaking since they had met, and even then, it had ended with them nearly getting arrested. It wasn’t necessarily the most romantic experience of Alex’s life, to be sure._ _

__And yet. Willie had been on his mind continuously since that day, and Alex couldn’t chalk all of it up to his anxiety._ _

__“Anyway, I said yes, so. I guess we’ll have to see what happens.” He watched her face for any sign of judgement but found nothing but love and support._ _

__“The way Luke talks about it, it’s clear somewhere deep down that he’s a really great guy. I’m sure you’ll have a great time,” she told him, pulling him into a tight hug._ _

__“Thanks, Jules. And who knows,” he said as he pulled away, “maybe if we stop hating each other, we can start hanging out with you and Luke altogether.”_ _

__“Like a double date?” A brush of red painted itself across Julie’s cheeks, but before Alex could protest that it wouldn’t be a _date_ , exactly, she said, “All I can think about is how much your mom wanted _me_ to date Willie—wait, what is she going to think? I mean, Willie does hit all of the criteria for her dream bride for you...except he’s, you know, a guy.” _ _

__“Oh my god, I didn’t even think about that. I mean, it’s probably not a date? So she won’t have anything to think about it, but,” Alex replied, a sinking feeling making his stomach plummet into the floor. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “It’s probably better if she doesn’t know that we’re hanging out at all.”_ _

__“Why not? Don’t you think she might let up on you if she thought you were dating someone? Especially someone like Willie.”_ _

__Alex shrugged. Neither she nor his father had ever been supportive of his sexuality. If they suddenly changed their minds just because she thought that he was dating someone both rich and high society, he knew it wouldn’t be genuine. “I find with my mother, the less she knows, the better. Who knows how she’ll gossip if she gets even a whiff of the notion that I might _possibly_ have a date with a Covington.” _ _

__Julie swore herself to secrecy, but even still, the idea of how his mother would react played itself over and over again in Alex’s brain for the rest of the day. That, combined with the fact that he didn’t even know what this was, if it was a date or just a coffee or even anything at all, put Alex on edge._ _

* * *

__Alex had thought that Willie might pick him up, if it was a date, but instead Willie just sent him the location for a cafe near Saks and a meeting time, and he said to wait outside for him._ _

__After far too long agonizing over his wardrobe options to hang out with the guy who was constantly making fun of his clothes, Alex opted to dress down, in a simple plain pink t-shirt and sweatpants combo. And maybe that outfit might still cost more than a flight to London and back, but at least he was trying._ _

__He even took the subway instead of a cab, a decision he regretted as soon as the tourist in front of him couldn’t keep her balance and spilt her entire pink drink on his shirt. At least it matched, he grumbled internally._ _

__The things he was doing to try to impress a guy that he wasn’t even sure he completely _liked_. _ _

__When he did make it to the cafe, he was right on time with no Willie in sight. He pushed his hands into his pockets as he felt his anxiety fire itself into overdrive. What if he was being stood up? What if this was some kind of prank? Maybe he _had_ misread things and Willie still hated him and wanted to lead him on and—_ _

__And then Willie was there, near-sprinting up the street to meet up with Alex._ _

__“Hey.” He was out of breath when he arrived, his hair disheveled from the effort. Grabbing a hair tie from the array of bracelets on his wrist, he pulled his hair into a low bun. “Sorry I’m late. There was a hoard of tourists blocking the sidewalk.”_ _

__Alex bit his tongue to keep from replying that technically Willie was a tourist, too._ _

__“Figured you would just skateboard here or something,” Alex replied instead._ _

__“I did think about trying to recreate our first meeting, but I decided against it at the last minute.”_ _

__“Thank god,” muttered Alex. “Although, this is sort of what our first meeting _should_ have been.” _ _

__Willie cocked his head at Alex and paused for a moment. “Wasn’t our first meeting your mom trying to set me and Julie up on a date?”_ _

__Alex’s stomach tingled at the word _date_ coming out of his mouth, though he tried his best to play it cool. _ _

__“You know what I meant,” replied Alex._ _

__Willie started to grin. “No, I’m not sure that I do. Tell me more about how our first meeting would have gone.”_ _

__He’d really stepped in it now. But the idea was there-- that things could have gone better, faster, and all of the glaring and dancing around each other for the past month would have never happened. It didn’t matter now._ _

__“Do you want to get coffee or not?”_ _

__Willie laughed and pulled him inside the cafe._ _

__It was strange, almost, how well they got along when they actually had time with just themselves to talk. They certainly had more in common than Alex could have imagined._ _

__“So why did your uncle decide to spend the summer here, anyway?” asked Alex once they had their drinks. Willie had insisted they get them to go—sitting still for too long made him uncomfortable and he’d rather wander around than sit squished in a crowded cafe._ _

__“He really wants to get into the entertainment industry, for some reason. Record labels and studios and all that,” started Willie._ _

__“Right, that’s why he’s helping Reggie out.”_ _

__It was only for a second, but Alex could have swore that Willie grimaced as soon as he heard Reggie’s name. It was gone in a flash, though, and Willie continued. “Yeah, that’s part of it. Anyway, I really wanted to come to New York for the summer, so I suggested Broadway.”_ _

__“Broadway?” Alex’s voice jumped up an entire octave._ _

__“I totally had you pinned for a Broadway fan,” Willie teased, as he led them down the crowded Fifth Avenue. “He’s investing in a revival of _La Cage aux Folles,_ but it’ll probably be a year before it’ll actually run.” He looked down for a moment, and wouldn’t quite meet Alex’s eye. “But when it does open next year or whatever, I’ll make sure we have tickets to opening night.”_ _

__Something in the way Willie said that, the vague notion that he was even considering a next year in New York, gave Alex pause._ _

__Willie reached out and stopped him abruptly in front of a store. As soon as he saw where they were, Alex bit back a groan. “Dude, I told you, you don’t owe me a new pair of paints.”_ _

__“Come on, I want to! I was a dick to you about them.”_ _

__That was true, but then again, Alex hadn’t been his best self, either. He shook his head firmly. “No way.”_ _

__“Well, I want to get you something, at least,” replied Willie, the hint of a pout forming on his features. “I should make it up to you somehow.”_ _

__Alex scanned the area around them, eventually focusing on a pop-up novelty sock store. He pointed to the store, earning an arch eyebrow in return. “You want me to buy you socks? This is way easier than I imagined.”_ _

__“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not, but okay.”_ _

__Willie didn’t answer, but he grabbed Alex by his free hand and pulled him along the street through the throngs of people until they were at the door. “How many pairs of socks equals one pair of Saint Laurent pants?” he asked, and Alex struggled to figure out if he was serious or not._ _

__“A lot, but you’re only going to buy me one,” replied Alex evenly. “And then I’m going to buy you one.”_ _

__Willie beamed at him. “This might be the cutest idea I’ve ever heard.”_ _

__Holding up a pair of socks with the poop emoji on them, Alex said, “Are you sure about that?”_ _

__“If it’s from you, it’ll be cute.”_ _

__Alex didn’t have time to process that particular compliment, because, looking over Willie’s shoulder, he spotted a familiar woman at the checkout counter._ _

__“Wait, I think that’s one of my mom’s friends,” replied Alex, as he grabbed Willie by his t-shirt to pull him behind a display case of food-themed socks._ _

__“Why are we hiding?” Willie asked in a stage whisper._ _

__“Do you know what would happen if my mom found out I was hanging out with? And _only_ you?” Alex hissed back._ _

__“Not really.”_ _

__“Me either, which is why it’s best she doesn’t, so that I don’t have to worry about dealing with that,” Alex whispered._ _

__“So then I guess now isn’t the ideal time to start screaming, is it?”_ _

__“What? No. Why would you even ask that?”_ _

__“Seemed to make you like me more last time,” Willie said with a shrug._ _

__“Okay.” That actually touched Alex in an oddly sentimental way. “Let’s save that for the museums, though.”_ _

__The way Willie’s eyes twinkled as he laughed made everything else around them melt away, and Alex had to avert his gaze, instead turning away to peak around the display. His mother’s friend was long gone, as far as he could tell, and Alex let himself breath for the first time in a minute._ _

__Willie seemed less bothered, playing with the straw of his iced coffee as he browsed the racks of socks. “Hey, what about these?”_ _

__At Alex’s disgusted face, he immediately put back the socks covered in hot dogs. “Nevermind those. You know, I feel like this is actually a surprisingly good exercise to get to know each other.”_ _

__For something that Alex had completely picked on a whim, he had to agree._ _

__“Alright. Tell me some more about yourself, or else I’m just going to get you socks with skateboards on them.”_ _

__“I _like_ skateboarding, though, so I really wouldn’t mind that,” replied Willie. _ _

__“You said you liked painting, too,” Alex remembered as he pointed to socks with Van Gogh’s Starry Night on them._ _

__“Yep. But I think I prefer Degas.” They shared a smile. “I like a lot of things,” he continued with a shrug. “That’s my problem, honestly. I get really into too many things and I can’t decide what to focus on. I switched majors, like, five times before I just decided to take a break from school. Caleb is still pissed about that.”_ _

__“I don’t really think that ‘liking things’ could be considered a problem,” Alex pointed out. “And there isn’t really any rush to figure out your calling in life.” The fact that Willie had enough money that he would probably never have to work was left unsaid. A life of leisure wasn’t exactly in the cards for Alex with his parents’ ever-crumbling finances, but Willie, as the sole Covington heir, shouldn’t have that problem. “Is that why you wanted to come to New York? To find your purpose?”_ _

__Willie only gave him a shrug in response, his fingers flicking through a few socks on the rack. “What about you, Mr. Business Major? What do you do for fun?”_ _

__Alex didn’t press him for not answering the question. “I used to dance. And I still play the drums.”_ _

__Willie’s head snapped up in surprise. “Really? I wouldn’t have thought that. I know Reggie said that you sang, but he didn’t mention dancing or the drums. Doesn’t your mom hate Luke because he’s a musician?”_ _

__It was weird that Willie knew that. It wasn’t something he would have thought Julie or even Reggie would have willingly divulged. That must have meant that some of the gossip around his mother’s antics had already made its way to the Covingtons. “She just thinks celebrities are flash-in-the-pan. I think hate is too strong of a word.”_ _

__“Still, drums seem a little low class for your parents’ tastes. How’d you pull that off?”_ _

__Alex sighed. “When I was a kid, my parents really did care about me. I mean, I guess they still do in some way, but they’ve been different ever since I came out. Anyway, my anxiety was _really_ bad when I was younger. My parents shopped me around to about half of the therapists in New York City before one suggested trying the drums as an outlet. It was one of the only things that worked, so they let me keep at it.” He paused. “Dance was kind of the same. Keeping my body moving like that kept my mind off of everything. But my parents thought it was too feminine and made me stop. I still had the drums, so it was okay, but...”_ _

__“But that still really sucks,” replied Willie. He was grabbing a pair of socks with little cymbals and drumsticks on them, but about halfway through getting them off the hook he changed his mind. “Wait right here.”_ _

__A bit dumbfounded, Alex tried to distract himself with finding the perfect pair of socks. Willie was still a mystery to him, even now. He sipped on his coffee while he tried to put together what he could discern of Willie’s personality. He was usually good at reading people, but he had clearly been wrong about Willie before. And that preconceived notion of who he was meant that Alex still had to figure out the real Willie. What he could tell, based on today and on the museum, was that when Willie cared about something, he cared for it deeply. And Willie did care about a lot of things, as Alex was coming to find out._ _

__“These are for you!” Willie produced a pair of black socks with rainbow bands going up the sides. Alex gave him a quizzical look-- his sexuality wasn’t exactly new information for Willie the way the drums were. At his look, Willie looked a little dejected, but he went on to explain, “I realized that your parents always supported you with the drums, but they haven’t supported you with your sexuality. Wearing these might piss them off, and I think you’d enjoy that more.”_ _

__The last sentence sent Alex into a fit of laughter. “Well, you’re right about that.” What Alex didn’t say was that he was pretty sure no one outside of Julie or Reggie had really supported him the way Willie was, either._ _

__He cleared his throat to distract from the way his eyes were getting misty. “Mine feel way more lame in comparison,” he said, as he handed over his choice to Willie. “I thought maybe these for you.”_ _

__He had picked out a pair of white socks with flame running up them, like a retro car decal. “Maybe it’s cheesy, but you seem like you’re very passionate about the things you care about. Like…”_ _

__“Fiery.” Willie completed his sentence, his eyes not leaving the socks as he ran a thumb up one of the flames. “I don’t think anyone has said that about me before.”_ _

__Alex fought back a blush. “I mean, I’m still getting to know you, so it’s just kind of an observation, and maybe it’s wrong but—”_ _

__“Okay, new rule.” Willie interrupted him, having been paying no mind to his rambling. “Next time we go out, we have to wear the socks we got for each other. Deal?”_ _

__The words ‘next time’ echoed in Alex’s heart. “Deal.”_ _

* * *

__He arrived home lighter than he’d felt in weeks, having changed into his new socks in a Starbucks bathroom on the way home because he couldn’t wait. He was in desperate need of someone to talk to about his day. Reggie was gone, though, and Alex had thought that Julie had plans with Luke for that day, so he resigned himself to having to bottle up his brimming emotions until he could find someone to share them with._ _

__The sniffling from the couch in the sitting room was the first thing that caught his attention. That, and the fact that the room was completely dark. “Julie?”_ _

__“I don’t want to talk,” came her meek reply. As Alex's eyes adjusted to the dark, he could almost make out her from under the massive pile of afghans on the couch._ _

__“Okay,” Alex replied as he took a soft step towards the lump of blankets. “We don’t have to talk about it.”_ _

__“Good.” A bushel of curls rustled its way out of the blankets, enough for Julie to get some air. “But if I did want to talk about it, I can, right?” she asked, and Alex felt his heart break, first at the despair in her voice and second, that his family and their refusal to talk about their emotions had made her feel like this wasn’t something that she could talk about._ _

__“Of course you can, Jules, you know you can talk to me about anything.”_ _

__“He’s gone.”_ _

__Whatever Alex was expecting, it wasn’t that. Maybe that they’d had a fight, or decided to just be friends. But Julie had told him that Luke was very adamant about renting a studio space in New York to write his next album. “What do you mean, gone?”_ _

__“I mean, he moved back to L.A. We were supposed to hang out today, but just texted to say he’d decided to go back and we couldn’t meet.”_ _

__That didn’t make any sense. Luke had been head over heels for her. He wouldn’t just leave out the blue without a good reason._ _

__“But you’ve been hanging out so much recently. I thought you two were dating. Did he break up with you?”_ _

__“But it wasn’t ever really just us. He would bring Willie, or I would invite Flynn… I would have invited you, but I thought you hated Willie. Just another thing I was wrong about,” she replied._ _

__He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that Luke would just _leave_. He had never been as close with him as Willie or even Reggie, but he would never have expected this._ _

__He needed answers just as much as Julie did, and as soon as she had shooed him off so that she could be alone, he grabbed his phone to ask the one person he thought would have an answer: Willie._ _

___do you know what happened to luke? julie’s really upset,_ he texted._ _

__He put his phone down on his desk and took to pacing around_ _

__The consistent buzzing of a phone call pulled him out of his trace and he raced to grab his phone. But it was Reggie, not Willie, who was calling him._ _

__He debated for a moment whether he should answer or not, but hearing Reggie’s voice would be a welcome distraction from waiting for Willie to text him back with answers as to why his best friend’s heart was so broken._ _

__“Hey, man, what’s up?”_ _

__“They didn’t sign me.” Reggie’s voice was heavy on the other end._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“After all the meetings and everything, they told me they didn’t want me.” There was a pause on the other end, and when Reggie spoke again, his voice was cracking. “I moved all the way out here. Fuck. Was I stupid? Caleb told me he’d make it happen.”_ _

__A sinking feeling crept into Alex’s stomach._ _

__“I just—I just feel so stupid. And I really want ice cream and a hug.”_ _

__Alex was already calculating how quickly he could pack and get to the airport when he remembered Julie. He couldn’t just leave her behind now, even though he desperately wanted to be there for Reggie, too. The stress of it all was making his breath speed up and he felt like he was going to be sick._ _

__“Okay, listen,” he said, trying to think as fast as he could. “I can Postmate you some ice cream,”—Reggie laughed—“and about a hug… apparently Luke is in town. Give him a call, I’m sure he’ll be happy to help.”_ _

__“What? Luke’s here?” Reggie was as surprised to hear that as Alex had been. “Why?”_ _

__Alex did his best to give the kindest version of the story of Luke breaking Julie’s heart as possible, enough that Reggie wouldn’t feel guilty for reaching out to him. As soon as they hung up, Alex ordered Reggie as much ice cream as he thought he could eat without dying in order to make up for not being able to come himself._ _

__He checked his text messages as soon as he was done, but Willie still hadn’t responded. Another hour went by, with Alex checking up on Julie as often as he thought she would be comfortable with, and there was still nothing._ _

__He checked again, only this time the message he’d sent to Willie had been read about twenty minutes ago. He had seen it and just never replied._ _


	5. chapter four

As soon as she heard about what had happened, Julie begged Alex to go to L.A. to be with Reggie. 

“I have Flynn here, at least. Reggie doesn’t have anyone,” she told him. She really was too selfless for her own good. 

In truth, Reggie had Luke, but Alex wasn’t about to tell that to Julie, although he knew she was smart enough to have realized that they were both in the same city now. 

Luke had gone to Reggie the moment he called and given him his much needed hug, as well as plenty of advice on how to manage the music industry and search out record deals without Caleb’s connections. At Luke’s suggestion, Reggie decided not to pack up and move back to New York, but rather to stay in L.A. and to keep trying. Music was Reggie’s passion, and now that he had taken the first steps, he wasn’t about to give up so easily. 

As angry as Alex was with Luke over his decision to leave Julie behind so heartlessly with nothing more than a mere text message, Alex couldn’t be mad at him for how quickly he had come to Reggie’s aid, even if that meant that his best friend was staying on the other side of the country. Reggie had never been happy in New York, especially not with his parents’ constant pressure on him to be something that he didn’t want to be. Los Angeles was where he needed to be. Luke may have been a terrible not-boyfriend to Julie in the end, but he was a good friend to Reggie. 

It was certainly more than Willie had done when Alex had texted him about Julie, Alex thought darkly. 

Three days after he had ignored Alex’s text about Luke’s sudden departure, Willie had texted Alex asking if he wanted to catch a matinee performance of _Come From Away_. He had added at the end: _wear your socks!! :)_

There was no mention of Luke or even an acknowledgement of the text from three days ago floating over Willie’s invitation. Alex was too exhausted with taking care of Julie and Reggie to get into an argument about it, and so he did exactly what Willie had done to him, and left him on read. 

Do unto others, and all that jazz. 

Alex knew that Willie and Luke were close, since Luke had only even come to New York in the first place at Willie’s request. This had to have meant that Willie knew why Luke had suddenly fled the city with no warning to Julie. Alex couldn’t understand why Willie wouldn’t just tell him. Maybe Luke had asked him to keep it a secret for whatever reason, but Willie could at least tell Alex that he wasn’t at liberty to say, or he didn’t know. The radio silence on the matter was what bothered him the most. 

He tried as best as he could to push Willie out of his mind so that he could focus on the people he cared about the most. This meant pushing the socks Willie had bought him all the way to the back of the drawer, too. 

Julie continued to assure him that she would be fine. She and Luke hadn’t even really been dating, she pointed out. No matter how much she had grown to have feelings for him, he hadn’t broken any real promises to her. Her feelings for him were deeper than his were for her, which wasn’t really his fault, and she didn’t blame him. His life was in L.A., and there really wasn’t any reason for him to stay here in New York, outside of Julie. And she didn’t mean enough to him for him to do that. 

Something still felt wrong, but he didn’t press her about it. If thinking about it that way helped her feel better then he wasn’t one to argue. 

She never asked him what had happened with Willie, but the fact that he never mentioned him to her again told her what she needed to know. 

And she was right about another thing, too, which was that she had Flynn in her corner through everything. Flynn was over almost every day, and though Julie wasn’t singing or writing music again, she was back to smiling and telling Alex over breakfast about all the fun things she had planned for the day. She would be alright with time. 

In the meanwhile, she continued to urge him to go to L.A. to see Reggie. 

“You’ve done nothing but sit around the house for two weeks,” she said, and Alex realized that she was pushing him to go to his best friend less out of concern for Reggie and more out of concern for Alex himself. “Go see him. You need him as much as he needs you.” 

Alex didn’t need much more convincing after that, and purchased a one-way plane ticket the next day. Things had been off for him recently, and as much as he told himself he was busy taking care of Julie, he’d fallen into his own rut, too. Maybe a change of scenery for a while would do him good. 

He was packing when his phone buzzed. 

It was Willie. 

_coffee? haven’t heard from you in a while_. 

For as much as Alex had been trying not to think about whatever had been going on with Willie, it was difficult to ignore the fact that as frustrated as Alex was at him for not even answering a simple question about his friend, he didn’t really want to hurt him, either. 

He wanted an explanation, but he didn’t have the energy to deal with that now. Instead he typed out a short message telling Willie that he was fine, he was just busy because he was going to visit Reggie in L.A. for a while. 

Then he put his phone on silent and didn’t even look at it again until he took it out to put it on airplane mode before his flight. 

_have fun_.

* * *

Reggie welcomed him to Los Angeles with open arms, and it was easy to forget about Willie and the mess he’d left behind in New York.

“Honestly, my parents always talked so much shit about L.A. but it’s really nice here,” Reggie told him once they had arrived in his apartment. It was a nice place, a luxury apartment near the Grove that Alex was certain Reggie’s parents were begrudgingly paying for. Reggie hadn’t mentioned how they had taken the news that he hadn’t been signed like he’d hoped. If they cut him off, there would be no way he could keep paying for this place. 

“I kind of feel like the sun is trying to burn me alive, but otherwise, yeah.” 

“That’s probably why no one walks anywhere here,” replied Reggie with a laugh. “So how long are you staying for? You didn’t say.” 

“How long will you let me?” he asked as he dropped his suitcase next to Reggie’s couch.

“Dude, I’d ask you to move in with me if I thought you’d stay.”

Alex sighed. Right now, that sounded really good. “That’s a very tempting offer, but school starts back up in about a month.” 

Reggie made a face at the mere mention of school. He had dropped out of college to move to L.A., which was probably the only decision that he knew for sure was the right one. Reggie hated school, but went to please his parents. Alex, on the other hand, was much more adept at classes and studying. Even if he didn’t particularly care for his choice of major, he didn’t mind it, either. Not to mention that, though he lived at home during the school year, it forced him to get out of the house and back into society. And while that society was still as high brow as any Ivy League school could be, it was much more “normal” compared to the bubble his parents had built for themselves. 

“Well, you’re welcome to stay here right up until you need to go back,” said Reggie. “Though I suspect you’ll miss Julie too much to stay. Speaking of Julie… Luke wanted to stop by this afternoon after he heard you were coming into town. Is that okay?”

Alex had expected to have to see Luke while he was here, but certainly not so soon. He hadn’t had long enough to prepare himself for what he might have to say. The iron claws of anxiety suddenly dug into Alex’s brain at the thought. 

Reggie read into Alex’s darkened expression immediately. “I can tell him you’re too tired from travelling all day,” he said quickly. 

“Thanks,” Alex replied softly. “Why don’t we make plans for brunch tomorrow instead?” 

“Works for me. You know I don’t have any plans,” Reggie said with a laugh. 

“You will soon enough,” Alex assured him. “Luke’s helping you out, right?”

“There’s only so much that he can do. Record labels aren’t willing to make such big bets anymore, not with record sales so low. I kind of have to start from the bottom and work my way up. But Luke’s introducing me to a ton of people in the same situation.” Reggie perked up as he remembered something. “Actually, my friend Bobby is throwing a bit of a party-slash-musician mixer-slash-jam session at his garage in a few days. You in?”

Alex agreed, though he wasn’t sure what to expect of it. It certainly didn’t sound like any of the formal parties he was used to, at least. A breath of fresh air would be nice.

* * *

The brunch the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Alex had expected. Luke really was a nice guy, no matter how Alex looked at it, which was probably what made everything hurt so much for Julie. No one had expected him to hurt her like he had. It was possible that Luke really was just oblivious to her feelings for him and the pain that he caused her. That was just about the only way Alex could rationalize the way Luke was acting towards him, like nothing had happened. 

Alex had made a point not to ask Luke about his decision to leave New York and Julie. He didn’t want to drag up any dirty business in front of Reggie, who was just enjoying having his friends all together and on the same coast. Alex could be the mature one and not dredge up another person’s painful actions.

On the other hand, Luke didn’t seem to have the same concerns.

“How’s Julie doing?” he asked casually, though he wouldn’t meet Alex’s eyes as spoke. 

Silence followed as Alex struggled to find the right words. Surely Luke was capable of picking up his phone and just asking Julie himself, considering he was the one that had left out of the blue. He cleared his throat. “She’s… alright, you know, all things considered.”

Luke frowned. That wasn’t the answer that he had expected, apparently. “Did something happen?”

“Luke! How did the writing session with Nick go?” Reggie quickly changed the subject, shooting an unreadable look at Alex. He probably wanted to avoid rehashing what had happened, but the fact that Luke didn’t seem to have a clue was worth pursuing to Alex. 

“Not great. I mean, Nick’s awesome and all, but I just wasn’t in the mood to write,” Luke said, though he seemed deflated at the sudden change of subject. He kept an eye on Alex, like he wanted to broach the subject again.

Reggie didn’t let him, however, commandeering the conversation from there to talk about Bobby’s event. Luke promised him that he would try to make it but he already had plans with a friend, so he wasn’t sure. After that the conversation slipped away to easier topics, and for a moment, Alex forgot all about the reason he’d left New York in the first place.

“Alex, you play drums, right?” Luke asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“How did you know that?” Alex shot a glance at Reggie, who just shrugged. Very few people knew this, not because Alex had any sort of reputation to maintain, but mostly because his drums were his therapy and he’d never had a reason to play them publicly. Julie knew, obviously, because she lived with him, and Reggie knew because he was Alex’s best friend. Other than that….

“Uh…” Luke paused, the gears in his brain spinning. “I think Willie told me?” It came out more like a question that a statement.

“Willie talked to you about me?” Alex asked suspiciously. 

“Not… recently,” Luke replied weakly. “He mentioned it a while ago. I thought that you two were getting along way better.”

“But he hasn’t said anything about me recently?” 

Luke looked like he had really stepped in it. At least it seemed like he didn’t know that Alex was avoiding Willie precisely because of Luke’s actions. “Nope, he hasn’t mentioned you since then,” he said hastily as he fiddled with his fork, pushing the eggs around his plate. “So, drums?”

“Yeah, but I’m not great.”

“That’s a lie,” Reggie replied quickly. “He’s actually really good.”

“Bobby’s always looking for drummers at his jam session. Reggie invited you, didn’t he?”

* * *

The party was held in an old, rundown garage set back in the hills of Los Feliz. 

Bobby was unlike any person that Alex had met in New York, that was for certain. At first glance, he seemed rough around the edges, his hair a disheveled mess and a dirt smudge across his cheek. It was clear he lived in the garage, with empty ramen cartons and random clothes strewn about and tangled with a mess of wires plugged into amps and mics. Alex was sure that his clothes were _genuinely_ frayed and not distressed in a factory for fashion reasons. This guy was as close to the ‘real deal’ that Alex had ever encountered. 

But he was _nice_ , too. Even though Alex’s shoes probably cost more than his entire monthly rent, Bobby welcomed him with a fist bump and an offer to let Alex jam on the drumset currently shoved into a corner of the garage any time. 

“He’s offered to play rhythm guitar in a live band for me to play a few shows, so that I can convince record execs to take a chance on me,” Reggie told Alex, who was hovering in a corner as he watched a steady stream of artists and musicians filter into the garage. “But if it’s okay, I should meet some of these guys so that I can find the other pieces of a band, too.” 

Alex waived him off. Luke hadn’t shown up yet, so Reggie was the only person that he knew here, but he didn’t want to hold him back. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was left alone, but it was enough for Bobby to notice and to try to draw him into the growing crowd of people picking up random instruments and playing. Reggie had his acoustic guitar, and it sounded like he was trying to teach a group of people the chorus to one of his country songs.

“For a New Yorker, he’s got a pretty good Southern drawl, doesn’t he?” Bobby asked. 

Alex laughed. He didn’t know enough real Southerners to know if Reggie’s was actually any good or not. “I have no idea where it came from. Lots of Johnny Cash, I guess.”

“I think it’s just some kind of natural connection to the soul of music,” replied Bobby. Alex had never thought too much about some kind of spiritual connection to music—he never thought much about spiritual connections to anything, really. But when he thought about Reggie and Julie, who both expressed themselves much better in music than outside of it, there was some truth to it for them. And for Luke, too, who was awkward and tripped over his words when he spoke but was eloquent and introspective in his music. 

Sort of like me and the drums, he realized. Drumming helped ground him, and it was the safest way to express his anxiety. Maybe it wasn’t about ‘soul’ like Bobby believed, but Alex could believe that there was something innate about music that helped connect to his interiority even when dark clouds were brewing over his heart. 

“That makes sense. Music has been calling him since we were kids,” Alex replied. Reggie was laughing at something some guy had said; there was a looseness to him that Alex hadn’t seen in him in a long time. “But it sucks that those record execs couldn’t see that.

Looking back over at Bobby, Alex could see a darkness brewing on his face. “What happened with the record label wasn’t Reggie’s fault at all.”

The joyful music coming from the jam session was a stark contrast to the serious weight in Bobby’s voice.

“What happened?” Alex asked. 

Bobby looked down at his drink, considering whether he wanted to open this can of worms. Finally, he spoke. “There was some outside intervention. Someone put their foot down and told them not to sign him.” 

“What?” 

“Honestly, it’s really weird. No one knows exactly why. I mean, that particular record label is pretty new, so maybe they had to listen or else they’d lose some of their financial backing.” 

None of this made any sense to Alex. What would they have against Reggie specifically? “But why Reggie?”

“No clue. No one knows,” Bobby replied as he finished the last of his drink. “What I’ve heard is that Caleb Covington put a lot of money in that company recently. And that his son—”

“Nephew,” Alex interrupted, his voice coming out as barely a whisper. 

“Yeah, sorry, nephew. Anyway, they say that his nephew stepped in and threatened to pull the money if they signed Reggie.” 

Alex’s heart was frozen in his chest. “Willie did that?”

Bobby was looking at him in surprise. “Wait, do you know him? Caleb Covington’s nephew?”

Alex was stunned into silence. It was impossible to wrap his head around why Willie would do something like that. Was it just because Alex had ignored his invitation to hang out more? No, he realized, that didn’t make any sense. Reggie had been rejected by the label _before_ that had happened. Which meant that when Willie was buying him coffee and socks, he had already told the execs not to sign Alex’s best friend. 

“I thought I did,” he replied eventually. “I guess I didn’t really know him at all, though.”

* * *

Alex debated for a full day about whether or not he should tell Reggie about Willie’s role in what had happened, but finally he decided that Reggie deserved to know that he didn’t do anything wrong. There was no lack in him that had caused them to reject him, but rather there was some lack in Willie’s character that made him so petty and conniving for seemingly no reason. 

Willie had once told him that the only thing that went on inside his head were whims and inconsistencies, and it was finally becoming clear that he had truly meant that.

When he told Reggie about what Bobby had revealed, he had expected anger, maybe even rage, at the fact that Willie had deprived him of one of his lifelong dreams. Instead, Reggie just seemed dejected. 

“I just don’t get _why_. I thought he liked me? We even hung out a few times.”

“I don’t think it’s anything you did at all, Reg,” Alex replied as he patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself.” 

“Did I accidentally say something to offend him the last time I saw him?” Reggie wondered aloud. It was breaking Alex’s heart to see his best friend like this. Too many people around him were being hurt by Luke and Willie. The whole thing was strange. 

“I think he’s just an asshole. I called it the first time we met.” 

Reggie shook his head. “I know you two didn’t get along, but he was nice to me the whole time. He even gave me advice on moving to L.A.! At least Luke’s helping me, so it’s not like my dream is totally dead. But the whole thing is just weird.” 

Silence fell as they both settled deep into their thoughts. Weird was the perfect way to describe it. First, Luke left Julie behind out of the blue, without any kind of heads up at all, even though it was obvious they both adored each other. Then Willie went behind Reggie’s back to prevent the record label from signing him, despite the fact that until that point they had been nothing but friends. 

Not to mention the fact that when they both met up with Luke, he was acting like nothing had happened. As if he was surprised that Julie might not be doing okay.

“And isn’t it weird that Luke didn’t know why Julie would be upset?” Alex started suddenly. Reggie nearly jumped in his seat at the interruption of his thoughts. “He’s the one that broke her heart. There’s no way he doesn’t know that.” Alex was becoming increasingly frustrated. “I just feel like our lives would be so much better if Willie and Luke had never come to town.”

Reggie was quiet for long enough that Alex started to suspect he knew more than he had said originally.

“Reggie, what is it?”

“I wasn’t really sure before, but after what you said about Willie… I think I know why Luke left.”

Alex was slowly starting to piece things together. “You think he left because of Willie?”

Reggie’s face darkened. He hated speaking negatively about anyone, even people that really deserved it. 

“Do you _know_ that he left because of Willie?”

“I don’t know anything for sure, but… Luke texted after we left brunch that day. He wanted to ask what you meant when you said she was alright, all things considered. He said he was worried.” He took a deep breath. “He couldn’t understand why she would be upset because he was sure that she didn’t like him as much as he liked her.”

Somewhere deep down, Alex had suspected as much. Still, his decision to leave out of the blue didn’t make sense. “Okay, but even if he couldn’t see that she was head over heels for him, he didn’t have to leave. They could still be friends.” 

“And that’s where Willie comes in,” replied Reggie, picking at a fraying hem of his plaid shirt. “He told Luke that helping Julie with her music was just holding him back. That he was doing too much for a girl that didn’t care about him.” 

Rage seethed under his skin, but Alex tried to keep his exterior cool and calm. Reggie hated when people were angry. 

“Why would Willie do that?” His voice was harsher as he spoke than he wanted it to be.

“Maybe it was about money,” Reggie suggested. “If Luke came to New York to write for his next album, but instead he was spending his time helping Julie, it meant he couldn’t put out his album on time. It’s been years. I’m sure his record label is getting antsy.”

“Are you defending Willie for stepping in?” Alex snapped.

“No!” Reggie was adamant. Alex immediately regretted his outburst. “Not at all. Especially not after what he did to me. I’m just trying to make sense of this.”

“None of this makes sense,” Alex replied. Resting his head in his hands, he mumbled, “did you at least tell Luke that none of what Willie said was true?”

“I told him he should talk to Julie himself. I don’t know whether he actually will or not,” Reggie said. “I think we should leave this between the two of them, you know? Willie’s meddling caused enough problems as it is. I don’t want to cause any more problems for anyone.”

“No, you’re right, Reg. Thank you.” 

Reggie nodded and the two lapsed into silence. After a few moments, Reggie spoke again, his voice low and hurt. “Alex… you don’t think that Luke knew this whole time that I didn’t get signed because of Willie, do you?”

“I don’t know, man,” Alex admitted. “This whole thing just sucks.”


	6. chapter five

Reggie left around noon the next day to meet with Bobby and a few others about the possibility of forming a band, leaving Alex alone in the apartment. 

It was a rare cloudy day for Los Angeles, a perfect match for Alex’s mood after the bombshells of last night. Now Willie’s absolute silence when Alex had texted him about Julie made perfect sense, although that didn’t make Alex any less angry about it. Not to mention the fact that afterward, he had tried to invite Alex out again like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t broken the hearts of the two people Alex cared about the most. 

When he left for L.A., he had been angry at Willie for not answering his text about Luke, but he still hadn’t wanted to hurt him by completely disappearing. He had mostly just wanted to avoid having to think about Willie at all, so that he could focus on Reggie and Julie.

He also wanted to avoid having to figure out how he felt about him.

He had just started to feel like maybe he had been wrong about Willie during their first meeting, that maybe they could be friends after clearing the air of their missed meeting. Maybe even something more, though Alex wondered if he had completely misread that situation, too. 

It had been easier when he was doing his best to not think about Willie, simply pushing any thoughts of him away in the same way he had ignored Willie’s attempt to invite him out. He’d told himself that he would deal with it all when he got back from L.A. But now, after everything, he couldn’t stop thinking about Willie and his betrayals. Nor could he ignore the fact that he was going to have to face him at some point when he got back to New York. He couldn’t let any of what Willie had done to Reggie and Julie—or even, to some extent, Alex himself—pass without confronting him about it. 

But at least he and Reggie had L.A. to themselves for now, though neither of them knew quite what to do about Luke. How innocent was he in all of this? That was a can of worms that neither Alex nor Reggie felt emotionally capable of handling yet. Thankfully, he had some time. School didn’t start back up for another few weeks, and as long as Julie was still doing okay, there was no need for him to rush back to New York. He really needed that time to think.

A knock on the door interrupted him pacing in Reggie’s living room. He hadn’t even realized that he was on his feet, and the sudden call back to reality made it feel like the world had shifted slightly. 

Reggie hadn’t given him any instructions on what to do if someone came to the door, and Alex was loath to deal with any strangers at the moment. But the knocking at the door continued until Alex finally built up enough courage to answer. 

“Reggie isn’t home at the moment, so if you could—oh.”

Willie. 

The absolute last person that Alex wanted to see right now. 

“Hey man, how’s it going?” he said cheerfully, and though he didn’t push himself through the door and into the house, he was radiating an energy that made it clear he wanted to. In one hand he was holding a carrier tray with two iced coffees, and in the other he was grasping a paper bag of what Alex assumed were pastries. “Sorry I didn’t text before I came, my phone died on the plane and apparently I left my charger in New York.” 

This was all a lot to process for Alex, who starred in a gaping silence, until Willie started to awkwardly shuffled his feet at the doorway. 

“Uh… can I come in?”

Alex nodded mutely and stepped aside to let him in. 

Placing the drinks and pastries on the kitchen island counter, Willie started speaking quickly. “I should have given you a heads up, but I wasn’t really sure what to say, since you’ve been kind of…anyway, I was texting Luke last night and he said you had been asking about me, and I’d been wanting to come visit him soon, so…I’m here.” 

Alex ran his fingers through his hair as he drew a shaky breath and tried to calm himself. “Uh, yeah, you are here, but could you… not be? Right now?”

Willie’s face fell in disappointment. How could he have expected anything else? 

Because he didn’t know that _Alex_ knew about what he had done. But he did at least know that Alex had been avoiding him, and yet he still chose to come here, without any warning or without giving Alex time to prepare himself. He felt his temper rising. 

“I thought we could talk,” Willie replied a little weakly. “Sorry, I really should have given you a heads up.”

“Yes, you should have,” Alex said sharply. His feet were itching to start pacing again, but he kept them still. “But since you’re already here, we might as well talk. I have a few things I wanted to say.”

“Cool, so do I. So…” Willie reached for the coffee carrier. “Coffee? And I brought danishes.”

Caffeine just made him more anxious, which was the last thing he needed right now, but he took the cup anyway and motioned for Willie to join him at the kitchen table. That was slightly less intimate than sitting on the couch, anyway. When he stepped out from behind the island counter, Alex realized for the first time that Willie was wearing the socks he had bought for him. The sight of them made Alex’s stomach tense. He didn’t want to see any evidence of the fact that he’d once, even just temporarily, enjoyed the time they’d spent together. 

“So talk,” Alex said as soon as Willie sat down, giving him little time to prepare himself for whatever he wanted to say. 

Willie hesitated for a moment, taking a sip from his coffee to calm his nerves. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “When we went out for coffee, just the two of us, when we bought each other those socks…was I misreading things?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I…” Willie paused. “I like you. A lot. You’re funny and sarcastic about all the right things—you get it, what life is like for us, in a way that no one else I’ve talked to does. You’re handsome, and you’re kind, too. The way you care about Julie and Reggie so much, the way you’d do anything to make them happy, even fly out to L.A., it’s amazing. You’re amazing.” 

He was clearly trying to load him with compliments, but all Alex could focus on was the hypocrisy and inconsistency of Willie saying nice things about people he had tried to destroy. 

Willie had paused, like he had expected Alex to say something in response, but he was met with silence. He continued, “I thought we had a good time together that day, and when you texted me, I guess I had thought it would be about getting together to do it again. Like, a real date. But it was about _Luke_ , instead. And when I did take the step to try to ask you out again, you ignored me. Was I totally wrong about everything, Alex? I thought we were having fun together.”

“Yes,” he replied tersely. 

The thing was, at the time, Willie probably wasn’t wrong. Alex _could_ have seen something deeper developing between them. Maybe Alex had been on the fence about his feelings for Willie. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise to hear that Willie had feelings for him—but that fact that after everything he expected Alex to reciprocate just showed how arrogant he really was. “You were wrong.”

Willie faltered. His knuckles were white where he was squeezing the plastic coffee cup just a little too hard, the cup crinkling slightly under the pressure. “Why? Is it because of your mom? That she won’t let you date me the same way she’d never let Julie date Luke?” 

Alex stood suddenly, pushing himself off his seat and onto his feet just to get away. He left his untouched coffee behind. “My mom can’t dictate who I date, and how dare you suggest that either me or Julie would bother to listen to her.”

“Why? She’s made it perfectly clear to anyone that will listen what she thinks of Luke—and you, you literally hid me from your mom’s friend to keep your mom from finding out we were together.” It wasn’t just Alex; Willie’s anger was growing, too.

“I was protecting _you_ from being the subject of her meddling,” Alex hissed back. “How the fuck could you suggest I would ever support my mom’s attempts to keep in me in the closet?”

Willie stopped, his anger deflating in a minute. Alex couldn’t stand the look of his apologetic eyes, so he started pacing again, anything to keep his body moving. “That’s not what I—I’m sorry.”

“And don’t you dare bring Julie into this,” Alex continued. “Not after what you did.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your text about Luke and Julie. Luke’s business is his business, and I didn’t want to break his confidence.”

Alex turned sharply so that he was facing Willie. “Don’t pretend. I already know that you made Luke’s business yours. You’re the reason he left Julie behind.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“You told Luke to leave because she was hurting his career.”

“That is not what I said,” started Willie. “I said she didn’t seem to care about him as much as he cared about her and that he was wasting his time. If he interpreted—”

“You meddled in the relationship of two people that cared about each other.” 

“I gave him advice.” 

“You gave him the _wrong_ advice.” Silence fell on them. Blood was pumping in Alex’s ears and his entire body was restless with rage. “She cared about him so much and he broke her heart. Because of you.” 

Willie was silent. Whether it was because he knew Alex was right, or because he was too angry to argue anymore, Alex wasn’t sure. But after what felt like an eternity, Willie slowly pushed himself up from his seat, his eyes leveling with Alex’s. 

“Fine. Maybe I was wrong about Julie’s feelings for Luke, and clearly I was wrong about your feelings for me,” he said, his voice wavering. He looked more vulnerable than Alex had ever seen him, but he held himself steady. “It was a mistake to come here.” 

“At least we can agree on something.” Alex crossed his arms as he watched Willie make his way to the door. 

“I’ll leave.” Willie stopped short of opening the door. “Tell Reggie I said ‘hi,’ I guess.” 

Alex saw red. “Don’t you dare speak his name after what you did to him.”

Willie paused with his hand at the door handle, and turned to Alex, his eyes sharp. “And what did I do to Reggie?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Willie.” Alex was in Willie’s face now, his breathing sharp as he tried to calm himself and failed miserably. “You went behind his back to make sure he didn’t get signed.”

“How do you know about that?” His voice was quiet and measured as he spoke.

“You don’t deny it?” 

“No, but it’s much more complicated than—” He took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. “Who told you?”

“Bobby.”

“Shit.” Willie looked down as he tried to process. He seemed to be talking to himself. “That means other people must have heard about it, too, by now.”

Alex had little patient for whatever self-reckoning Willie was up to. “So you really did it?” He hated how shocked his voice sounded. Maybe a part of him had really, truly been in denial and hoped that Bobby had been wrong. 

Willie took a deep breath. “No.” That was all Alex needed to hear, but Willie continued anyway. “But you don’t understand—” 

“I don’t want to hear it. Leave,” Alex interrupted him. 

Willie opened his mouth again, words on the tip of his tongue, but after a moment of hesitation, he thought better of it. Nothing productive could come from trying to push this anymore, not with the way Alex’s blood was boiling through his skin. It was probably the best decision Willie had made in weeks. 

He didn’t watch Willie leave. He didn’t have the stomach for it. As soon as Willie turned the doorknob, Alex was gone, making his way into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water in an attempt to calm himself down. 

The sound of the door closing didn’t offer Alex any closure, especially as the iced coffees and uneaten danishes taunted him from the dining table.

* * *

He didn’t wait for Reggie to get back from his meeting to start packing, but he at least had the decency to not to leave right away. When Reggie got back, Alex was sitting on his couch with his suitcases piled up next to him, his knees bouncing uncontrollably. He had tried breathing practices, meditation, even running around the block a couple of times to calm himself, but nothing worked. 

Reggie’s concern was palpable, but Alex didn’t have the emotional energy to explain everything that had come to pass between him and Willie. He didn’t even have the energy to deal with it himself, though he couldn’t think about anything else. All he could do was say “Willie was here” and that was enough for Reggie to nod and offer to drive him to the airport. 

After the discoveries they had made about Willie’s deception the previous night, Reggie didn’t need much of an explanation, anyway. 

It wasn’t until Alex was on the five hour redeye to La Guardia that he could actually start to think through everything. 

Willie had confessed his feelings for Alex. Truth be told, that was the least surprising thing that had happened. The way Willie had insisted they meet, the way he was asking about Alex and trying to get to know him, the thought he put into trying to pick out a gift for him. Alex wasn’t stupid. He knew Willie had developed feelings for him some time in between running him over and screaming with him in the museum. 

And those feelings _had_ been reciprocated to some degree. 

It may have taken him a while to warm up to him, but he was, finally, starting to see that Willie wasn’t just another stuck-up rich kid who couldn’t care about others unless it benefited him in some way. The way he went out of the way to get to know Alex. The way he tried to show that he just _got it_ about Alex’s anxiety and his situation with his parents and in life… 

Except… 

Except none of that was true, not really. Maybe it was true that Willie _thought_ he liked Alex, for some reason, but no one that actually liked him would go so far out of their way to hurt the people he was closest to. 

And that was the sting of it, the reason that it hurt the most. 

When he and Willie first met, his initial instinct had been that Willie was an asshole and not worth his time. But somehow Willie had weasled his way into Alex’s life with his coffees and museums and stupid socks, and Alex had started to let him in, to open up to the possibility that maybe Willie wasn’t such a jerk. That maybe he was someone Alex could actually trust with his heart. 

But the reality was that he was much, much worse than Alex could have ever imagined.

* * *

Julie met him at the airport. Reggie had texted her with his flight plans—Alex hadn’t been in the right state to send them to her himself. 

She didn’t ask if he had seen Luke while he was in L.A., and she didn’t ask about Willie, either. He wasn’t sure how much Reggie had told her, considering all he knew was that Willie had stopped by the apartment, but Alex was thankful that she remained mute on the topic, filling in the silence of the car ride back to their brownstone with tales of her summer adventures with Flynn.

It was clear that Luke hadn’t reached out to Julie to clear anything up like Reggie had advised him. It could be that he wasn’t as innocent in any of this as Alex had hoped. Maybe Luke had wanted to leave anyway, and it wasn’t just Willie’s pushing that led to his departure. 

At least he and Julie could commiserate together over getting their hearts broken by West Coast boys, even though Alex would never admit out loud that he had been developing genuine feelings for Willie. All he would admit to anyone was that he and Willie had gotten into an argument, and he never wanted to hear the name Covington ever again. 

Willie did try to contact him, once, a few days after he had arrived back in the city. He called Alex late on a Thursday night, as if he didn’t know that Alex wasn’t still in L.A. or he forgot that timezones existed, and when Alex didn’t pick up, he left a long voicemail. 

Alex blocked Willie’s number without even listening to it. 

Alex and Julie had each other, and that was enough for them. They didn’t need Luke and Willie. 

But time passed quickly, and Julie had to leave for school. 

The house was empty of people Alex could confide in, and Alex was alone. 

Reggie stayed in L.A., but he called and texted often enough, updates about his band and the small gigs they were getting, and little clips from the demo they were recording. 

He didn’t know if Willie had come back to New York. With Julie out of the house, his parents stopped bringing up the Covingtons, and Alex refused to go to any of the high society functions because he knew his mother would just use that as a chance to try to set him up with any girl in the room. She was starting to get desperate; Mr. Mercer’s most recent business venture had failed and they were running out of time to pay off their debts. 

Life passed for Alex, alone. His senior year started at Columbia, and he was busier than ever trying to complete his final credits. That workload helped to keep his mind off the fact that he felt incredibly abandoned by the people he cared about. 

It wasn’t until early November that something happened to knock Alex out of his funk. 

He was in his room, procrastinating over a final essay for his Business Communications class, when a knock on his bedroom door interrupted his Instagram scrolling. 

“Alex?” It was his father. “I have something to discuss with you.” 

Until now, most of the meddling in his life had come from his mother, with silent, tacit approval from his father. Panic set in. If there was any kind of ultimatum about marriage, this could be the end of Alex’s time under this roof. He wasn’t prepared.

With a shaky breath, he opened the door. His father looked stern, as he always did, but he seemed almost nervous, his hands shoved into his pockets the same way Alex did when he was starting to feel overwhelmed. Alex made a mental note to try to avoid doing that in the future, lest someone think he took anything after his father. 

His father glanced around the room as he stepped inside, and Alex realized that this was probably the first time his father had even been in his room since Alex was thirteen and he had broken his foot playing soccer on a team he didn’t even want to be on. 

Silently, his father sat down on Alex’s bed and folded his hands into his lap. “You haven’t made any Thanksgiving break plans, have you?” his father asked after a moment. 

Alex swiveled his desk chair to face his father. He didn’t even realize that Thanksgiving was approaching. But if this was a chance to get away from his family for a weekend, then it was one worth taking. Maybe he could go to visit Reggie in L.A. 

“I have potential plans,” he replied.

For a moment it seemed like his father’s face fell. “If you don’t have anything concrete yet, I’d like to ask your help with something.” 

And there it was. Alex steeled himself. “If it’s about-”

“It’s not about marriage,” his father said quickly. Alex felt his nerves deflate, but only slightly. “That’s your mother’s area. You should know I always thought that was nonsense.” 

Alex felt like he’d been stabbed. He _didn’t_ know that, because he father had never said as such, despite his mother constantly making comments and drawing up plans in front of her husband’s face. Alex drew a breath and turned back to his homework. “You could have told _her_ that.”

If Alex expected an apology, he would have been sorely disappointed. But he knew better than to expect his father to ever admit that he had made a mistake. Instead his father ignored the comment, much like he had ignored his mother’s continued meddling. 

“How are your classes going in school?” his father asked abruptly. 

His father had never asked that before. Alex turned toward him again, warily. “Fine. What do you want?”

“We were thinking of…going on a little trip for Thanksgiving this year,” his father started. They usually just went to his grandmother’s on the Upper West Side. 

“I have finals to prepare for,” Alex reminded him.

“Think of this trip as an extra credit assignment.”

“I’m pretty sure my professors aren’t going to accept that as an excuse,” he replied carefully.

“Alex, just hear me out.”

With a sigh, Alex replied, “Okay.” 

“I’ve been thinking of making investments in tech.”

Alex groaned. This had Covington all over it. “You’re about twenty years too late for that to be really worthwhile. Maybe even thirty. Definitely sometime before I was born.”

“I have to do something,” his father replied sharply. “So I am planning a trip to San Francisco at the end of the month, and I would like you to come.” 

“I’m not—I don’t know any of the Covingtons. I’m not going to make connections for you,” he said, trying to conceal the waver in his voice at just the word “Covington.” It was true, anyway. He had _thought_ that he knew Willie, but he had been completely wrong. 

His father frowned at him. Out of disappointment that he couldn’t use Alex non-friendship with Willie and his Uncle, most likely. 

“That’s not why I want you to come.” His father unfolded his hands and leaned back on the bed. “I’ve been talking to Caleb myself, but he’s no help. He doesn’t want anyone encroaching on his territory. I want you to come because you’re actually studying these things—trends and investments, and even meetings and negotiations. I don’t know anything about this. I studied French literature at college.”

Alex never knew that about his father. Of course he had known his father was terrible at business, but he struggled to imagine his father studying something as interesting as literature. Alex wished _he_ could study French literature. 

But Alex had little desire to help his father after receiving no help from him since his childhood, and he certainly had no intentions of going to San Francisco, not to Willie’s city where Willie could run him over with his skateboard anytime he wanted. 

His father could read it on his face, too. 

“Is there anything I can do to convince you to come?”

That was unlikely, thought Alex, but suddenly an idea came to mind. Maybe it was pointless, or maybe it would start a fight, but it was worth a shot.

“If I do this,” Alex started, leveling his eyes carefully with his father, “if I go all the way to San Francisco to help you out, sit in on those meetings or whatever, will you get Mom to leave me alone about getting married?” 

His father’s face fell but he nodded. “I don’t know how much of an effect it will have. She’s stubborn when she sets her mind on something. But if you come, I will talk to her.” 

Alex felt his skin clam up. There wasn’t the relief that he hoped he would feel to hear that. He balled his hands up, trying to find some relief for his racing pulse. 

His father didn’t seem to notice. “So you’ll do it?”

Alex’s mouth was dry, but he managed to get out a weak “Yeah.” 

Carefully, his father stood up and patted the wrinkles out of his trousers. “We can discuss the specifics later. Good luck with your homework,” he said as he gave Alex what he guessed was meant to be a supportive pat on the shoulder. It mostly felt like it was tipping Alex’s mind over into whatever upside-down world he felt like he had just entered. 

“Wait.” He stopped his father when he had one foot out the door. “You know you should’ve been on my side from the start.” 

His father looked at him, but didn’t say anything as he left, and Alex sunk back into his chair. He couldn’t find comfort in any of what just happened.


	7. chapter six

What Mr. Mercer meant by “Thanksgiving break” was actually the last two weeks of November, which meant missing school. None of his professors were happy about this—but at least one was willing to let him take a test in advance. 

But the amount of work Alex had to do to make sure he wouldn’t be behind when he got back meant that in the lead up to the trip he was incredibly busy. Thankfully, it meant he was too busy to dwell too much on the fact that he would be in Willie’s hometown, likely meeting people in all the same circles. 

To be fair, he didn’t know if Willie was going to be in town for Thanksgiving or not. Maybe he had moved permanently to L.A. Maybe he was even staying full time in New York, and Alex had just been blissfully unaware and lucky enough to never run into him. And maybe, just maybe, that luck would continue for him in S.F.

The one thing going for him was that he was able to convince his father to let Julie join them for the last week. His mother was coming, too, and had turned it into some kind of “family vacation,” but at least Julie would be there. He hadn’t seen her since the start of the college semester, and he missed her fiercely. 

Besides, if he did run into Willie, it would be nice to have someone on his team. 

The first week in San Francisco went as well as any week alone with his father could go. As potential investors, they were wined and dined and subjected to many pitches and presentations, and after every one, Alex’s father would sit him down and ask him what he thought. None of this was really any of Alex’s area of expertise at all—finance and business weren’t exactly the same thing, even ignoring the fact that Alex hadn’t even graduated with a degree yet—but he was coming to realize how truly unskilled his father was at just about anything related to money at all. 

They didn’t talk about anything other than business, and there were no attempts at bonding. His father never once asked him anything about his life, or what he was up to. Alex wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. He held too much anger and bitterness towards his father to ever want to be friends with him, but he still wanted _something._ He just didn’t know what. 

After another night of his father shutting himself into his bedroom in their shared hotel suite, Alex couldn’t take being cooped up much longer and left, ostensibly to explore the city, but mostly just to get away from the tense atmosphere radiating from behind his father’s door. 

Alex wasn’t much for bars, and most coffee shops weren’t open so late; in fact, Alex thought it was weird that everything in California seemed to shut down so much earlier than New York. But he did find a quaint twenty-four hour diner with free wi-fi open on the corner of a street not far from his hotel, where he could work on some of his homework. 

Pulling out his laptop, he settled himself into a booth with a cup of decaf and set to work on his final paper for his marketing class. He would never admit it to his father, but the practical experience he had received from sitting through so many investor pitches over the last few days was actually very helpful as real-world examples of what he was learning about. 

He was deep into his essay when a familiar voice pulled him out of his concentration, and with a complete lack of foresight, he turned quickly to find the source of the sound.

He only realized his mistake when his eyes locked with Willie’s. 

Fuck. 

He turned back to his laptop as fast as he could, but it was too late. Willie had already spotted him and was heading over to his booth with his friends, two girls, in tow.

“Alex?”

With a steadying breath, he looked up to see Willie standing at the edge of his table. His two friends were peaking around him curiously and one of them whispered something into the other’s ear. Great, Willie had been talking about him behind his back to his friends. Of course he had. 

“What are the odds?” he said, aiming for casual and likely failing miserably. 

“Pretty high,” responded Willie. “I mean, I come into this diner like twice a week when I’m here, so you were bound to run into me.”

Alex nodded silently, his eyes flickering back to the two girls who were still whispering to each other. 

“Oh, sorry. Alex, this is Kayla and Carrie. Kayla and Carrie, this is Alex,” he said as he gestured to his two friends, who waved at him. Willie turned to them. “It looks like Alex is working right now, so why don’t you guys go grab us a booth?” 

“Of course,” replied Carrie, grinning widely at Alex. “It was nice to finally meet you!” The two left to a booth somewhere behind Alex, where they could still easily watch, Alex was sure. 

“Sorry about that,” Willie said. He made some gesture that Alex assumed was “stop staring” at the girls, but Alex didn’t look behind him to check to see if it worked. 

“It’s fine.” In the grand scheme of things that Willie had done to him, this was minimal. “And you were right, I am trying to work.” 

“Right.” Willie paused from where he had been about to sit down across from Alex and straightened himself up again. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been helping my father with some business.” Willie raised his eyebrows, probably out of shock that Alex would actually help either of his parents. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you’d be in town.” 

“Actually, I’ve been staying in Vancouver, but Caleb called me back for the holidays.” 

“Mr. Worldwide, I guess.”

Willie let out a small laugh. “So you’re in town for a while?” he asked. There was a tone of hope in his voice that Alex thought shouldn’t be there. 

“Just for one more week,” Alex replied. Willie wasn’t leaving yet for some reason, so Alex started to pack up his laptop. He would just work from the hotel. 

Willie stopped him. “No, no, stay. I’m here with Carrie and Kayla, I was just…” Willie trailed off. “You never listened to the voicemail I left for you, did you?”

“No,” replied Alex, honestly. 

Willie nodded, as if that was the answer he had been expecting. “I’ll leave now, but just… if you get the chance, can you listen to it?”

Alex didn’t want to lie to him, not after how much Willie had misled him, so he just shrugged. The hurt was evident on Willie’s face, and Alex felt that reflect in his heart. He quickly bundled up that emotion and shoved it as far away as he could. 

“Okay, well… good to see you,” Willie said, with a sad little wave as he went to join Carrie and Kayla. 

Alex couldn’t concentrate on his work after that, not with his nerves fired up. There was only one person that was able to get underneath his skin like this. Just less than a million people in San Francisco and he happened to run into the one person he couldn’t stand to be around. 

Pulling out his phone, he stared at the little red notification bubble over the voicemail app. He had never deleted it, not even when he had blocked Willie’s number. His hand had hovered over the message countless times, prepared to swipe and delete, but the little anxiety voice in his head kept asking him: what if? What if one day you are ready to listen to it? What if one day you want to hear what he has to say? 

Today was not that day, however, as he hastily shoved his phone and his laptop back into his bag. Leaving enough cash to cover his bill and a healthy tip, he left the diner as fast as he could, and although he didn’t turn back to look, he could feel Willie’s eyes follow him as he left as if they were drilling a hole into the back of his neck.

* * *

Julie arrived early the next morning, and with it she brought a welcome distraction. Alex was sure that they had a lot to catch up, and after an entire morning of begging, Alex’s father let them escape to have lunch together, just the two of them, as long as they both agreed to go to a gala being hosted that night by one of the companies that Alex and his father were heavily considering investing in. 

Alex had missed Julie fiercely, but when they finally sat down to talk, he realized that he didn’t actually have all that much to fill her in on. When she asked him what he had been doing for the entire semester, the only answer was “homework” and “sometimes Netflix.” There were no late-night adventures or terrible first dates to share. The only thing even remotely interesting in Alex’s life was running into Willie the night before, and he still had no idea how to talk about that. 

Instead, he turned the topic around to Julie, and he was surprised with what he heard. 

“Actually, there has been something…” Julie took a deep breath. “I performed at an open mic night last week.”

“What?” Alex was so pleasantly shocked that he had to stop himself from jumping out of seat. “Why didn’t you say something? I would have come down to watch.” 

“I didn’t tell _anyone._ I wasn’t really sure if I would do it. Up until the moment I got on stage, I thought I might just leave. It would have been humiliating if you came all the way down just for me to chicken out at the last minute,” she explained. 

“That makes sense,” he replied, still grinning widely. “But you did it! That’s so great, Jules.”

“Thanks,” she said, hiding her own smile. “It was a song that Luke and I had sung together, so I know that I could do it, even without him.” 

The mention of Luke was tinged with sadness, but Julie still looked proud of herself. As she should be, thought Alex. 

Her promise to show him a video of the performance is what got him through the rest of the day of trying to fit his schoolwork in between meetings and watching presentations. He never thought that he of all people would be looking forward to a _gala_ , but at least it would break up the monotony of attending so many meetings for “the next Uber,” which all seemed to look the same in the end. 

And at least at the gala, he’d be able to sneak away somehow, which wasn’t possible when he was stuck at a table next to his father. 

That’s what Alex had hoped, anyway. 

In reality, as soon as they arrived, Alex and Julie had tried to find themselves a small standing table in the corner of the large ballroom, but no sooner had they staked a claim than Alex’s mother had grabbed them both by the elbows to drag them back into the crowd. She hissed in his ear that they were there to make a good impression. “What would these people think of us if they saw you two in the corner, refusing to socialize?”

It was a nightmare come true for both of them. There were only so many times Alex could stomach being praised for getting into Columbia on what he knew was absolutely a legacy admission. He also couldn’t help but notice that his mother seemed to make it a point, even still, to only introduce him to women his age. 

The second his mother stepped away to ‘freshen up’ in the washroom, Alex confronted his father. 

“You didn’t talk to her?” 

His father quickly looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. At the same time, Julie reached out to put a calming hand on Alex’s arm. 

“I’m going to do it when we get back home. I wanted to make sure we’d had _some_ success here before—”

“Wait for what?” Alex hissed. He didn’t want to draw everyone’s attention to them, but he was finding it difficult to control himself. “You said you would get her off my back if I came with you. So I came with you. What else do you want?”

“I want to save this family, Alex. Now calm down, your mother is on her way back,” he urged. “And I promise, I will talk to her when we get back. For now, can you just deal with it for one more night?”

“No, I—”

“Say, is that the Covingtons?” his father said, absolving himself of the need to carry on the conversation any further and striking a new fear into Alex’s heart as he glanced over his shoulder to see that it was, in fact, Caleb Covington with his nephew in tow. His nephew whose eyes were trained on Alex. 

Not far from them, he could see his mother making her own way back to the family. 

Suddenly Alex found himself at a very, very uncomfortable crossroads. He only had a split second to make a decision. 

Grabbing Julie’s hand, he loudly announced, “Tell Mom that we’re going to go say hello.” 

Before his father could protest, they were off. 

Julie took it all in stride. “I can’t believe him,” she whispered as they walked. “To lie to you like that.”

Alex shrugged. He shouldn’t have expected his father to actually help him, not after how long he had been complicit in his mother’s actions. 

Willie looked just as surprised as Alex felt that he had actually come over to talk to him. His eyes flickered between Alex and his parents behind him, and a look of sympathy donned on his face. 

It was Mr. Covington that spoke first. “Alex, Julie, what a pleasant surprise. It is so nice to finally meet you. I had heard that the Mercers were in town. Julie, Alex’s mother has told me so much about you,” he said sardonically. Julie’s face fell. Alex’s mother and her meddling wasn’t her fault.

Luckily Willie stepped in. “Why don’t you let me catch up with Julie and Alex, Caleb? I’m sure you have more important people to meet with. Jack Dorsey, maybe?”

“Hmm.” Caleb glanced between the three of them. “I suppose so. But don’t wander too far, Willie. I can’t have you disappearing to Canada again.” 

He took his leave with a tip of his hat. He was definitely the oddest person that Alex had ever met. 

Alex raised an eyebrow at Willie. “Did you go to Vancouver without telling him?” 

“Yep,” Willie laughed. “He’s super pissed but, honestly, it was worth it to get away for a couple of months.”

Alex could feel that. Sometimes Alex wished that he had opted to take a semester abroad for school, but it would have meant prolonging his studies by an extra semester, which was something he wasn’t willing to do. The faster he could graduate, the faster he could really get away from his parents and their life. 

“I’m guessing he dragged you here as punishment?” Julie asked. 

“Something like that.” His eyes fell on Alex for only a moment before he looked away. “But I am glad you guys are here. I hate being at these things alone.” 

“So Luke’s not here?” Julie asked, quietly. As soon as she realized what she said her mouth snapped shut. 

Willie’s eyes softened and he shook his head. “He’s still in L.A. But, I’ll let him know you asked.”

Alex wondered if he would actually do that. Willie had been preferable to dealing with his mother, but this sudden reminder of his betrayal had Alex putting up the walls around him again. 

“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Julie replied. 

An awkward silence fell between the three of them, too much left unsaid to forget about what all had passed. Out of the corner of his eye, Alex spotted his mother and father making their way over to them. The scowl on his mother’s face spoke volumes. 

Alex bit back a groan and shoved his hands into pockets. Willie and Julie picked up the shift in the atmosphere immediately and turned to see what was causing it. 

Julie grimaced immediately. “Mrs. Mercer…we were just catching up with Willie while you were busy.” 

“That’s wonderful, dear,” replied his mother, her voice saccharine sweet. “Alex, sweetie, I’ve been looking for you.” Alex gulped. This could never be good. “You’ll never guess who I ran into just now! You remember the Wilsons, don’t you? Well, it turns out they have a daughter that is exactly your age. I thought since we were in town for a few more days—”

“She has a girlfriend,” Willie interrupted his mother. Her eyes widened. No one outside of Alex had ever really dared to do that to her, and Alex at least kept that within the confines of their own house. “And Alex isn’t interested in women, either, so I’m not sure what you are trying to do.” 

The fact that he had spoken to his mother like that at all was shocking enough, but that he had said it loud enough for the people in their immediate vicinity to hear was a cherry on top. There was an immediate hush, as several people craned their necks around to see what was happening. 

Alex’s mother’s eyes darted around, her face growing red at the amount of people now staring at him. “William, I appreciate your concern, but this is a private family matter, so if you don’t mind—”

“I do, actually, because I care about Alex, and seeing him deal with homophobic assholes like you is my business.”

A pin drop would have been audible in the aftermath of what Willie said. 

Maybe Mrs. Mercer had never considered the implications of publicly trying to force her son back into the closet at a gala hosting the richest of the rich in San Francisco, but the hush whispers that were now starting to surround their little group seemed to be taking their toll on her. She shut her mouth in a firm line and shot a sharp glare at her husband, as if asking him why he wasn’t stepping in to do something. 

His father still didn’t say anything. He had been trying so hard to make inroads in San Francisco only to be made a fool of Caleb Covington’s nephew. His face was white as a sheet as he tried to process how everything he was building towards was crumbling around him. 

He seemed to be mulling something over in his head for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was heavy and defeated. “I think maybe you should give it a rest, Anne.”

Mrs. Mercer’s mouth flopped open and closed like a fish struggling for water, but she couldn’t seem to find any words. 

Alex’s father sighed. The uneasiness on his face suggested that he wasn’t even sure he was doing the right thing. “I think it’s best if we go. I’ll call the car,” he said, as he placed an arm on her shoulder to try to guide her away. “Alex, Julie, I trust you can find your own way back to the hotel.” It wasn’t a question, and Alex wasn’t sure if his father was angry at him or just trying to keep them separate from Mrs. Mercer. 

“Why didn’t I ever try that?” Julie asked out loud, wonder on her face. “Embarrass her in public. That would have saved us so much trouble.” 

“Come on, Jules. No one expected you to risk losing your family,” Alex replied, though he was touched that she was even thinking about it. 

“Do you think it’ll keep? Like, will she actually stop?” Julie asked. 

Willie spoke up, finally. “I just hope I didn’t get you in any more trouble.”

Julie’s head snapped to look at him, like she had forgotten that he was there. Her eyes flickered between the two of them. “I’m going to go call Flynn for a minute,” she said. Alex was pretty sure “call Flynn” was just an excuse to leave them alone, but he didn’t call her out on it. 

Willie was watching him carefully, worrying at his bottom lip as he tried to figure out what to say. Alex had the same problem. His feelings towards Willie were completely inconsistent. He had stood up for him here, he had put in the effort to get to know him, but he had also utterly betrayed Alex and the people he cared for. Was standing up to his parents for him enough to override that?

“You’re in town for a few more days, right?” Willie asked after a moment. 

Alex couldn’t resist the desperation in his voice as he said it, especially not after what Willie had just done for him. 

“Yeah, three more days.”

“And Julie, too?” 

“Yes.” His eyes narrowed slightly. He still didn’t trust any of Willie’s intentions around Julie, not after what he pulled with Luke. “Why?”

Willie looked like a deer caught in the headlights for a moment, probably at the slight hint of anger in Alex’s voice that he thought they had moved past. “Just that…it’s good you won’t be alone with your parents the rest of your time here,” he replied quickly. “You know, after what just happened.”

“Oh.” Alex hadn’t expected Willie to be so considerate. “I’d be fine anyway, but thanks. If anything, they’ll be too afraid to pull anymore shit on me, thinking that you might pop out of the woodwork to tell them off again.” 

Willie was quiet for a moment, holding Alex’s gaze. “I would, you know,” he said quietly. “I would fight them for you if you needed me to. I would do anything for you.”

Alex could see in his eyes that he meant every word that he said. A wave of fondness that Alex hadn’t felt since Willie had picked out those rainbow socks for him washed over his entire body and he felt his cheeks starting to burn until he couldn’t take staring at Willie any longer. 

He cleared his throat as he turned away and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, but thank you,” he said, and he meant it, genuinely. 

Silence fell on them again. Alex wasn’t sure what to say beyond the fact that he had never seen someone stand up to his parents that way before, especially in public, but something about knowing that it was a possibility at all gave him a newfound sense of confidence in his own ability to do so.

“Listen, Willie—” he started but Willie held up a hand.

“You really don’t have to say anything else,” he said. “Maybe we should both just let our nerves calm down a bit before either of us says something we don’t mean.”

Alex nodded. Willie had a point. “I should find Julie and go deal with whatever is waiting for me back at the hotel.”

“If it’s not safe for either of you…”

“We would never be in any physical danger,” Alex was quick to assure. 

“Still, I have friends all over this city. You could stay with Carrie and Kayla,” he offered.

“Honestly, I really just want to go back and tell my parents directly that you were right, and…I feel like if they throw their sole heir out for being gay, _that_ actually would ruin the family more than just being broke.”

“That’s fair,” Willie said with a nod. “Hopefully they see it that way.”

“They probably won’t, but I’ll survive either way. They need me more than I need them at this point.”

Willie smiled and clapped him on the back. The feel of his touch stayed there long after they had parted for the night.

* * *

Alex and Julie took a cab back to the hotel, expecting the worst, but his parents were already in bed by the time they got back. Small blessings, Alex supposed. 

The next morning, too, found Alex and Julie alone in the suite, after waking up to a note on the coffee table telling them that they had gone for breakfast and that Alex was excused from the meeting Mr. Mercer had scheduled for that morning. 

If his parents were going to prolong talking about what happened, Alex wasn’t going to fight them over it. Maybe they would put it off for so long, they would act like it didn’t happen. That seemed par for the course with them, anyway. At least now they might be afraid of being exposed in public again. 

Having the morning off was great. Alex took Julie to the diner where he had run into Willie before for lunch, though Willie didn’t make an appearance this time, and then they decided to go to Ghirardelli Square and the Fisherman’s Wharf for sight-seeing. 

However, no sooner did they arrive than Julie received a text that turned her face as pale as a ghost. 

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked immediately. 

Julie stared at her phone for a few more silent seconds, processing. “Luke’s here. He wants to meet.”


End file.
